Jealousy

I am actually very good at keeping my emotions in check.  The one emotion that always seems to get the best of me -- jealousy.

I've been jealous of many people over the course of my lifetime.  Girls with better legs.  Girls who seemed to be naturally skinny.  Anyone who seemed to have an easy life.

Now, my jealousy is different.  I've spent months jealous of anyone who is able to sleep all night.  But the person I am the most jealous of lives in my area code.  He's my husband.

In the last two months, Mike has spent two weeks in Chicago (staying in a posh hotel on Michigan Avenue, eating steak dinners, and fraternizing with colleagues).  He's spent multiple nights in Bloomington, Springfield, and at other trainings (also staying in hotels, eating out, and "making connections").  This week, he's at home while the trio and I are staying with my mom in my hometown.

I know the man has to work (so do I...).  I know that going to these trainings is important.  But, oh, what I wouldn't give for 5 nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep.  For a week of eating out.  For the ability to shop on Michigan Avenue.  For time alone in my own home to tackle my to-do list.

Most of all, I'm jealous of his ability to totally abandon all familial responsibility for days at a time (with little to no guilt), to shower in peace, eat food that requires cutting and chewing, and to have consecutive and multiple full nights of sleep.

Mom's just don't get to do these things, ya know?  The longest I've ever been away from any of my children was when I was on bedrest with the girls and stuck in the hospital for 5 days when Bo was 20 months old. That's not exactly a beach vacation or a spa day, if you know what I mean...

Have I mentioned, in my next life, I want to be a man....

Wordless Wednesday: Cookies

One afternoon last week, Bo and the girls were in the kitchen "helping" me make dinner.  Bo asked if we could make cookies and I obliged.  Mmmm!  Oatmeal chocolate chip...  tasty!   I think this song has warped my family for life.  :)

Ask Jamie: Hormones

Stacie asks:


"I was just curious as to how the hormones effected you physically and emotionally.  I'm a school teacher and may start a cycle transfer during the school year and want to know what to possibly expect.   I don't want to be so emotionally overwrought while teaching I freak out the kids. The prospect of taking all these meds is kind of intimidating for me. I'll be on estridol,  lupren and then progesterone I think. How long after you started the process with birth control did it take before they transferred the embryos??  Mostly I would just like to know what the process was like emotionally and physically from someone wha has gone through it."


I intentionally took a year off to make myself as healthy as possible and to try to avoid cycling during the school year before we started down our IVF path.  I started my first IVF cycle in May 2006 and completed a fresh cycle in June 2006 (BFN) and a frozen cycle in August 2006 (BFN).  


When school started in the fall of 2006, I was in the 2WW (two week wait) from my frozen cycle but I managed to keep it together pretty well.  I did another frozen cycle in October 2006 (BFN) and a fresh cycle in November 2006 (BFN).  For the frozen cycles I was on a lower dose of meds and it didn't really impact my teaching.  However, with the fresh cycle I found myself in tears numerous times.  Since I taught high school, most of my students could tell that something wasn't quite right and some did know what I was going through.  I also had to miss school for appointments, retrieval, and transfer, making it even more obvious that something was askew.  


The worst cycle was actually the one that worked.  In February 2007, I cycled again, and I was a complete basket case the entire time.  I was on different medication for this cycle (Lupron, Menopur, Bravelle, Heparin, estrogen and progesterone).  I am not sure if it was the medication or just the time of year combined with being at the end of my infertility rope, but it wasn't good.  I made it through, but some of the results weren't pretty.  Luckily, my principal was very understanding -- even when I was sitting in his office bawling during the 2ww. 


As far as cycling during the school year, I would say to try to avoid it but if you do end up cycling then, be honest with your principal and those around you about what is going on so they can cut you some slack.  Cycling is emotionally trying for so many reasons.  Depending on what grade you teach, it may not be appropriate for your students to have any idea of what you are going through, but having a support system through colleagues can be helpful.  I wasn't willing to wait until the next summer to cycle again, and I'm glad I didn't.  For me, I had to keep powering through -- it was my only way to survive the process.  Waiting until summer to cycle again would have killed me. 


Emotionally, you will be a roller coaster on the medication.  That is just what it does.  Mike and Mandy still laugh at me because we were in the Dairy Queen drive-thru one night and I started crying about an Oreo ice cream cake.  I realized how ridiculous I was being and started laughing while crying, but it was just one of those things.  Your emotions will be very heightened and you need to be prepared for this.


Physically, I'm a pretty tough cookie.  I have a high pain tolerance and was able to handle the shots, pills, retrieval, and transfer without a hitch.  I do think that I had a mild case of OHSS after my first retrieval and had more physical pain at that point, but during the cycles that worked, I had no pain at all.  For me, the end of my pregnancies were much more difficult physically than cycling.


Every person and cycle are different.  With the girls cycle, I started BCP on November 27, 2008 and the embryos were transferred on January 22, 2009.  On average, from first pill to transfer is usually around 2 months.  


Those of you who have also gone through IVF or infertility, what advice do you have for Stacie as she starts cycling?  How did your cycles impact you emotionally and physically?


Friday's Feature at Sticky Feet Part Deux is Ask Jamie. Feel free to email me or leave a comment with any question you would like for me to answer. Anything is fair game!

Wordless Wednesday: Splashin'

Sunday morning, we all spent some quality time in Grandpa and Grandma's pool.  All of the kids were big fans and Bo stayed in until his feet were little prunes.  I foresee three little swimmers in my future!  Bo sure has grown a lot since he was first in that crab floatie!

Ask Jamie: Sleep Advice

Lea asks,
"I read your (adorable) 9 month letters to Anna and Clara and I'm wondering if you'd be willing to share w/ me how you went about setting up successful sleep habits for them? My husband and I are expecting our first baby any day and we've watched so many friends struggle to get their kids to sleep through the night, even at a year old and beyond. Did you use pacis to cut out night time feedings? When did you start that? Do you stay with them until they fall asleep or do you have a different bedtime routine?"

Lea, I think we are all searching for the magic solution to better sleep for our kids.  Sleep is such an important part of their growth and without proper sleep kids have so many issues -- and Mom's go crazy!! :)  Our sleep issues are just starting to get better and it has taken a lot research, time, and work to reach this point. 

First, I would suggest is starting your baby on a routine as soon as you feel comfortable.  We followed Baby Wise with the three hour eat/play/sleep cycles at the beginning.  At first it seems strange having your baby take 4 naps each day, but trust me when I say they need it!!  And so do you!!  I also advocate consistency.  The more consistent you can be with your routine, the better sleep habits your children will form.  This can be very difficult and I'll admit that I do give up some consistency now that the girls are older in order for us to be able to leave the house some days.  It's difficult, but also worth it.

Both Bo and the girls all started in their own cribs from their first night home.  We do not co-sleep and did not have any of them start in our room.  I think this helps in many ways as they begin adjusting to their crib from a very young age.  At first, they would sometimes be asleep when we put them down, but after about a month we started putting them down drowsy but awake.  We love on them a bit, turn on their music and humidifier, put them in the crib, and exit.  We've reach the point where they may fuss for a minute or two, but typically they go right to sleep for naps and night.  It sounds easy, but it has taken a lot of work and scheduling to get to this point.

Reflux with the girls threw us a curve ball and the girls slept in their infant carriers for a few months, switched to AR Pillows, and then finally were on their backs in their cribs.  I remember being worried they would never sleep "normally" but we did reach that point and looking back it doesn't seem like as big of a deal as it felt like at the time!

We do use pacis and Bo dropped his on his own at 2 1/2.  The girls both use pacis and I do think this helps with their sleep habits.  

I fed the girls during the night until they were 6 months old.  With Bo, I stopped feeding him at night at 5 months, but he was much bigger than the girls and probably was ready to drop the nighttime feeding sooner.  Bo was consistently awake once per night to eat -- usually between 2 and 3.  The girls were not as consistent and I think a lot of this had to do with me waking one if the other woke to eat.  For quite awhile they were eating 2 to 3 times per night, which was rough.  We gradually worked down to one nighttime feeding and then I stopped feeding them during the night completely at 6 months, when I felt they were ready. 

Another important factor that has a huge impact on sleep and that I did not fully realize before I had children is bedtime.  When Bo was a baby we quickly found that we were keeping him up to late and that the nights when we put him to bed earlier he actually slept longer and slept better.  The girls go to bed around 6:45 and Bo goes to bed around 7:30.  Their wakeup time is 7.  Sometimes Bo will sleep later -- even until 9 some days (this has been much less frequent since transitioning to the toddler bed) and the girls usually start to wake up between 7 and 8. 

Our current challenge is transitioning Bo from his crib to his toddler bed.  Some nights are better than others...  He self-initiated the change and is sleeping well in his big boy bed most nights.  We had almost a week where he slept all night in his big boy bed, but the last two nights have been more difficult.  We have implemented a "three-strikes" rule where if he comes out of his room three times during the night then we put him in his crib.  This is happening less and less so I am hopeful that we are truly making progress. 

I think the most important part of sleep is to follow a schedule and to trust your gut.  For us, we knew that having the children sleep in their own room and sleep consistently was very important -- both for their brain development and for our sanity.  Not all families feel this way, some prefer co-sleeping, and that is totally okay.  You have to find what works for you and for your baby. 

What advice do you have for Lea as she prepares to bring her new baby home?  What advice do you have for me regarding the toddler bed transition? 

Friday's Feature at Sticky Feet Part Deux is Ask Jamie. Feel free to email me or leave a comment with any question you would like for me to answer. Anything is fair game!

Date with My Little Guy

On Tuesday, Katie came over to watch the girls, and I took my little guy on a date.  First, we went to the library to check-out some new books.  His request was a Mickey Mouse book as Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is one of his new favorite shows that we've been DVRing for his evening viewing.  We sat together at the library and read Curious George's ABC book, checked out a few more, and then headed to the LaSalle Pool.



The pool has the perfect setup for toddlers.  I don't yet feel brave enough to take all three kids there on my own, but I am sure I will one day.  There is a splash park area, and then a toddler pool with a rain house (I have no idea what those are really called!).  Bo had a great time running around and seemed to enjoy himself.



Once he was changed into dry clothes we went to the park for a little while and then headed through the McD's drive-thru for cheeseburgers.  After we shared a two cheeseburger meal we finished it off with bomb pops that we both graciously shared with the sisters.



Overall, it was a great date.  It wasn't quite the date that Mike and I had on Saturday that included me wearing a dress and drinking martinis -- but I think the fun factor is fairly equal.  Today, I roped Katie into going with us to Peoria to check out the zoo there.  I still want to head to the Niabi Zoo and Brookfield Zoo -- but I think we'll wait until Mike has some time for those.  I will definitely miss having Katie available when she heads back to Florida.  It's been nice to take my two main men out on dates this week and get out with the trio!

*** Disclaimer: All photos in this post were taken with my phone and not edited in any way.***

Wordless Wednesday: First Cake

My mom made strawberry Jell-o cake for my 29th birthday.  We decided to give the girls their first bites of cake that day.  As you can see, Clara clearly enjoyed her first taste.