Sunday Show and Tell: No Worries

This is a sticker on the dashboard of my car. It says "No Worries".

I acquired this sticker off of a skinny latte purchased from O-town's world famous, Ophelia's Cup. They use cute little stickers like these to seal the opening when ordering coffee to go. I have several on my computer monitor at school, a few in my bathroom, and this special one on my dashboard. I think I've saved every one I've received...

Why is this one special? Well, mostly because when I received it I took it as a omen. Since July of 2006 I've had a few driving issues -- namely I hate to drive on the highway or interstate and would end up scared to death when I attempted to do so. After some intensive research into the faucets of my brain I've managed to figure out that the fear really has nothing to do with driving and is really a fear of death and a need for support.

In February of 2006, I had a wreck (ice on a bridge -- totally not my fault) and in July of 2006 (same bridge with fresh rain) I had another close call. I originally convinced myself it was my Jeep and traded it for another car. While I do believe there was something wrong with the Jeep it didn't cure my fear... Eventually I reached the point where I just stopped driving outside of town. The consequence of this was that Mike had to drive me to all of my IVF appointments which were all at least an hour and a half away. Needless to say this was both a blessing and a curse...

See, I have this ferocious independent streak. I hate to ask for help. I hate to need anyone for anything. But sometimes, especially when going through an emotionally intense time, one needs to ask for help. Instead of just asking, and saying that I needed Mike to be with me for all of my appointments my brain developed a fear of driving which consequently meant that Mike would be with me for my appointments. (I should also mention that hindsight is 20/20 - I had no idea this is what I was doing at the time...)

I also have a fear of death -- not just of my death but of the death of someone I love. I'm a control freak and a car accident is something that would be totally outside of my control. I absolutely hate that Mike drives to work every day and most of the time I just have to block the whole situation from my mind. (Mike's commute is the number one reason I'm willing to move -- sure it'll be nice to be closer to his family but if he didn't have to drive it would be much more difficult to convince me that moving is a good idea... ) I've had a fear of someone I love dying in a car accident since I was very young -- when I was little and my mom would leave I would become so anxious that I would start throwing up. This limited Mom's mobility significantly. I'm not sure what started this fear but it must have been something when I was little...

Needless to say, it is a lot better than it was but I'm still recovering from my driving phobia. I can now drive places -- I've driven to Vincennes, Effingham, etc. but I still won't drive when it rains. The overall fear is better each time I drive but I can't imagine ever driving "worry-free" like I did before. I drove back and forth to school at Charleston for three years with no problems -- now the thought of doing that sends shivers down my spine -- even though I know why I'm afraid and why the phobia developed.

The "No Worries" sticker stays on my dashboard (it was transferred to the new car when we bought it) and it reminds me, when I begin to feel my anxiety creep up that I'm okay. That most likely I will not be in a wreck. That I'll make it home in one piece at the end of the day. That worrying about it is just going to drive me crazy and I need to get over it!!

Click on over to Mel's blog to see the rest of the Show and Tell participants!