I Could, But I Won't

Yesterday, Mike accepted a 120 day detail in Champaign. All of the logistics have not been worked out but he'll be working there from the end of October until the end of February. This detail is a promotion and will be a very important addition to Mike's resume. At the end of February, he will return to his current job and continue apply for transfers further north.

We've looked at our lives from a million different angles and we know this is the best next step. This will set us up for Mike to receive another promotion down the line and that promotion will coincide with a move and hopefully the government buying our house. With the way the economy is currently, I really don't see the house selling any other way.

This promotion leads to several other issues that need to be addressed. Mike will have to stay in Champaign, there is no way he can drive 4 hours every day back and forth to work. With gas prices it wouldn't make economic sense and the poor guy would be exhausted. That just isn't an option. Therefore, we'll be finding some type of living accommodations up there.

Then the question begin: do Bo and I stay here during the week and just see Mike on the weekends? How will that work? What if we go up there during the week with Mike? What about our cats? There are lots of issues to work through and lots of questions that I'm not yet able to answer.

The biggest issue and most pressing matter is my job at the high school.

Currently, my daily schedule looks like this:

6am-8am - Shower, check email, blog, work on online classes

8am-10am - Bo wakes up/Bo time

10am-3:30pm - High School

3:30pm-6:30pm - Bo time/supper/laundry/housekeeping

6:30pm-9:30pm - Work on online classes

At the end of the day, I am totally exhausted and collapse into bed only to do it all again the next day. I don't feel like I am really enjoying life right now. I am stretched too thin and feel like I am doing everything poorly. From mothering to teaching, I am not doing any of it well.

I could, feasibly, continue this schedule with Mike away during the week. The only real change would be I couldn't start on my online work at night until 7:30 pm when Bo goes to bed, which really, is only an hour. But, I have been hired for another online teaching job and my training for it begins in November. That means that right after Mike leaves I would be working 3 part-time jobs and trying to take care of Bo, without Mike around during the week. I would never sleep. Once again, I know I could do it. And if I had to do it -- if I was a single mom, or if we needed the money, I would do it. But the fact of the matter is, I'm not a single mom. We don't need the money.

So, while I could continue trying to age myself 30 years in one year. And I could continue working myself to death and missing out on precious hours of Bo's babyhood, I won't.

I resigned from the high school today, effective at the end of the nine weeks. I will continue to work, online, from home because I need to - for my own sanity and well-being. I plan to spend as much time with Bo as I can and soak up each moment. I know that these years will pass quickly. I plan to support Mike and travel wherever he needs me to go for the next few years so that he can advance in his career. I know that this is what is best for my family.

I will continue to work and develop my career, just at a different pace. And when Bo's in school, the world will be my oyster. He's only going to be small for a short time and I don't want to miss it. To me, being with him is worth the slight loss of income. I'll make more money later. For now, I'll do my best to develop a phenomenal little boy into an extraordinary young man.

So here we go, changes are on the horizon. I hope I'm starting down the correct path...