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Friday, December 19, 2008

Wishing My Life Away

I want it to be the end of February.

I want to know if we will be moving to Champaign, moving elsewhere, or staying here for awhile longer.

I want to know if we are going to end up pregnant from our last 2 fresh IVF cycles, so I can move forward with my life and my career if our family is complete.


I want Mike to be able to stop driving and be home at 4:45 every evening instead of rolling in the door right before Bo's bedtime.

I want Mike to be able to leave for work at 6:45 instead of waking up at 4 to get on the road and begin his drive.

I want to be where we are going to be.

I want to know if our family is complete.

And there is no way to know these answers.

And it is driving me crazy.


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7 comments:

Veralee said...

Boy, do I know how that goes. Hang in there:)

Amber said...

I can understand that completely! Unfortunately, that's the planner side in me...which has had to be suppressed so I don't make myself crazy these days!

Rachel said...

It seems as if your posts often echo what is going on in my mind.

Wish I could offer comfort, but all that comes to mind is things that may add to your list of worry.

sky girl said...

It's tough to feel like it's all beyond your control. Hang in there.

Silver said...

Good luck with the waiting... I hate waiting and I do not like the unknown. If only we had more control!

p.s. LOVED the pics! Loved the coloured shirts, very nice! Good luck picking the photos, they are all great!

Spanglish said...

The good news... you're CRAZY BUSY, so February will roll around before you know it. And I know that doesn't offer any comfort, but I don't know what else to say (except I know how it feels to wish).

Jaime said...

i am sorry. i hope that good things come to you in 2009. i can only say that i know a little bit about what you are going through

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