Awards

Today has been FULL of awards!

I am THRILLED to announce that the 2007 OLNEAN yearbook has been selected for the Golden Dozen Award by the Southern Illinois School Press Association! FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW! WOOHOO! That means that both years that Mandy and I have been advising we have had one of the Top 12 yearbooks in Southern Illinois (St. Louis - Evansville, Springfield - Paducah). WOW! I am SOOOO proud of my girls!! We also received 2nd for cover and photography for last year's book and Best Feature Photo, 2nd for Best Feature Spread, Best Theme Development and 2nd for Best Cover on the 2008 book which is currently in production!! I heart my yearbook girls!

*****


This blog has received an award as well! Larisa at The Waiting Womb has nominated me for this award: Thank you, Larisa!

I am to nominate 10 other bloggers:

Spanglish at Welcome to the Cysterhood
FireMom at Stop, Drop and Blog
SkyGirl at Chasing Blue Sky
Helen at Everyday Stranger
Carrie at Life in the Soupbowl
Tara at Plan B
Jess at Having Faith
Snickollet at Snickollet
Emmie at Fertility Lost
Leslie at Leslie Webber (password protected)

*****

Bo won the award for cutest baby at Mike's office party tonight. Okay, I made that up -- but I think he was the cutest baby there! He was very well-behaved and quite social with Mike's colleagues though. :)

Totally Random

After having stainless steel appliances for nearly five years I've finally figured out how to clean them! Woohoo for research on the Internet.

The how to:
1. wipe down appliances with a wet cloth diaper (make sure you wipe with the grain)
2. dry with a dish drying cloth
3. apply a small amount of baby oil on another cloth diaper wipe down the appliances (with the grain)
4. buff with another dish drying cloth

They look beautiful!!

*****

Check out this site: http://www.childdrowningprevention.com/index.html
I think this is amazing and a great idea. I went to the website www.infantswim.com and signed up to be on the waiting list to have these instructors come to my area. I really feel that this would be worthwhile as Mike's parents have a pool and I hope that Bo will turn into quite the little fish. If you are interested please go to the site and find an instructor in your area or sign up to be on the waiting list.

*****

I am sad to see Director Hartke resign -- even if he is a Democrat! He was great to work with throughout my reign. He always had a smile and a hug for me -- not to mention he took my political teasing exceptionally well!

*****

Random advice needed:
1. I am searching for an exersaucer or jumperoo. Any suggestions for one that your child has used and enjoyed?
2. What toys or books were a must have for your child(ren) during the first year?

Weight Loss Wonder

It's official. At weigh-in yesterday I was below my pre-pregnancy weight.* In the last 14 weeks I have lost 48 pounds. Insanity. Only 8 more to go to get back to my pre-IVF weight and 13 to go to get to the weight I was when Mike and I were married.

Weight Watchers is my friend. :)

Losing weight while breastfeeding is a significantly easier than losing it the old fashioned way. I currently have 30 points a day. If I wasn't breastfeeding I would only have 20. Those 10 extra points go a LONG way.

I definitely don't feel like Weight Watchers has been nearly as consuming as it has for me in the past. Maybe it is just because my priorities have shifted so dramatically. Mike hasn't even noticed that we are doing it. Using many core plan recipes (I'm doing "flore" a combination of the flex and core plans... hey, it works for me), I'm able to make a lot of the foods he likes without making him feel like he is eating a science experiment every night. (I added a link to some of my favorite recipes in the left sidebar).

I also have to admit, I haven't really started exercising again yet (unless you count hefting a 15 pound baby around everywhere). The weight keeps coming off without me actively pursuing exercise, so, I just keep letting it. I know eventually I am going to hit a plateau and I'm going to need to crank it up a bit -- especially to get that last tummy flab off -- but I hope it waits until it's warmer. I want to be able to walk outside with Bo and wait to join a gym in the fall. (And yes, I know I should be exercising to maintain my health too -- weight loss isn't my only goal -- but I'm naturally a pretty active person.)

My body is definitely different than it was pre-baby. I have some stretch marks around my belly-button (more on the left side than my right -- thanks to Mr. Bo who decided hanging out on my left side was extra fun!). I don't think I would have ended up with any stretch marks if he would have entered the world just a few weeks sooner -- but it's okay, I'd rather have my healthy baby and keep the war wounds!

My body definitely isn't proportioned the same at this point either. Hell, my boobs are bigger then they have ever been and my butt and waist haven't regained their resiliency yet -- despite the massive weight loss.

I am only 14 weeks post-partum and I have faith that I can get back pretty close to "normal" if I try hard enough. Most importantly, that means I won't feel like a ginormous cow when it is time to try again. And maybe all of my work clothes will still fit when it is time to head back to work full-time in August. And maybe even that I have the potential to be a MILF -- for my hubby anyway! haha!

* And this is even with AF bloat. Yes, apparently I'm one of the lucky ones who despite exclusive breastfeeding still gets to ovulate and menstruate, even though there is no where for the egg to go. Peachy. As long as it doesn't mess with my supply, I'll deal.

I see you! Delurk and sign my guestbook!

Milk, it does a baby good.

My freezer -- full of milk and old food that I should probably throw away. Pizza's from school fundraisers -- I can never say no to a kid trying to raise money for something. A cheesecake from Sam's Club that was bought for Thanksgiving since I didn't think I would be up for cooking (we didn't get home from the hospital until late Thanksgiving night...). Popsicles from last summer, pickled herring for Jim, and stuffed potatoes that my mom gave me -- I think when we got the freezer! At least the milk is forcing me to re-think my freezer habits!

Inspired by Jill's post of her freezer full of milk, I decided to take a picture of my own. As you can plainly tell, even with only pumping twice a day and giving two or three breastmilk bottles each day I have a bit of an oversupply issue. It was amassing in heaps in the freezer but luckily I found some trusty ice trays that are the perfect size for the Lansinoh bags and have made organization a bit easier. (And are significantly cheaper than those silly breastmilk storage containers -- what a waste! Don't bother!)

Breastfeeding has not been what I expected it to be. (Really, what ever is?) Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to breastfeed. I'm not really sure why I felt this way but several of my friends have had problems and I thought that I might too. I went into it prepared with lots of knowledge from books and a few friends who have successfully breastfed. I just told myself that if it didn't work it wouldn't be the end of the world. All of my research has pointed to the fact that some breastmilk is better than none and I tried really hard to keep an open mind about the entire process.

I think I told my poor labor nurse that I wanted to breastfeed about a hundred times while I was in labor (okay, more like 3, but still...). After Bo was born and cleaned up we had our first attempt and much to my amazement he latched right on, proving from the start he was a true We.it.l -- he loves to eat!!

I hate to be "one of those people" but it really has been fairly easy for both Bo and me. Bo has gained weight well. Besides his cold he has been healthy. He has no trouble switching between the breast and bottle. We've been lucky.

Besides the ice cube trays I've also found my pump, bustier, Boppy, and Hooter Hider valuable assets to breastfeeding. I use the pump, bustier, and Boppy constantly. The Hooter Hider I only use when we are out and I don't have a bottle pumped or when we have company. (I'd rather not flash my FIL!) I found both the bustier and Hooter Hider on eBay for really good prices -- so make sure to check there first if you are shopping for breastfeeding supplies!* Even with my "breastfeeding tools" and storage we are saving money by not buying formula. That is a nice perk -- and heaven knows I have to eat anyway!! :)

I really don't enjoy pumping but I pump after Bo's morning feeding for a bottle (or two) to take to Grandma's for while I am at work. I also pump right before I go to bed and I still end up with engorgement in the morning.** Pumping is usually when I get my blog reading time in -- I've found I produce more when I don't think about what I'm doing -- sometimes so much I overflow the bottles, which can be quite the mess!

As far as the freezer goes, it will soon be taken over by baby products. I am planning to make and freeze Bo's first solids (yum! pureed sweet potatoes!) so between milk and frozen babyfood our freezer is definitely going to be yielding to capacity!

*Thanks to my friends who recommended these products!

**Any advice as to how to regulate the supply without making it non-existent would be greatly appreciated! He currently eats at 8, 11, 2, 5, 8 and some nights another feeding (lately at 5 am) and I pump at 9 am and 10 pm.

"Hot Soccer Mom"

Our new car.

I've moved up a notch in the rankings for wife of the year. The big purchase that I alluded to last week was a new Acadia. It is a blue-gray color. I call it "Baby Bo Eye Blue". GMC calls it blue-gold.

It seats 7 so we will have plenty of room for us, my mom and the in-laws (and hopefully a sibling for Bo at some point too). It is decked out with all kinds of neat features but we did decide not to have the built in DVD player installed. It was an extra $1500 and we already have a portable DVD player anyway. Plus, Bo really won't need to watch TV in the car a lot -- but I have heard that it is a lifesaver for those really long family trips!

Most importantly, it isn't a mini-van. Which means I kept my promise to Mike that we would never have to have a mini-van. I know, it seems odd, but it is important to him. He says I now have the ultimate "hot soccer mom" vehicle. I've still got a ways to go before I hit that status but as long as I can keep him thinking that way, that is all that really matters. ;)

Another Snow Day

There is a layer of ice over everything here. Mike and I stayed in our Pj's and spent the whole day lounging with our little one.

Life is good.

On Blogging...

I was recently asked some questions that I thought might be appropriate to answer here.

1. Why do you blog?

I originally started the blog during my first pregnancy (the ectopic in March 2005). I had read the book Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas and I was inspired to start writing a journal for my future child. I wrote my first post back then, but soon after I lost that baby and I didn't write again until April of 2006 when I was gearing up to start my first IVF cycle.

The blog was originally just meant to be a journal but I slowly began finding other blogs of people who were also going through infertility. This was a God-send for me because I finally had a place where I could read about what certain procedures were going to feel like, the chaos the injections would reek on my hormones, and most of all, I had a a place where I could talk through aspects of my life that no one in my real life understood or had ever been through while receiving comments and support.

The blog (and my writing style) is evolving overtime and is currently progressing through the biggest change yet -- the transition from primary infertility to motherhood.

I think it is important for anyone who reads here to understand that this blog is still for me. This is my cheap therapy. :). I write here to work through different aspects of my life, to vent about my personal frustrations, to make connections with others, as well as to remember.

I already look back at some of my old posts and laugh at myself. Some things that seemed so important to me 2 years ago aren't important at all now. And it is great to be able to look back and see myself change. Wouldn't it be funny to look back at what I would have written in high school and college? Or when I first met Mike?

2. How did you start reading blogs? Why do you read them?

I actually started out reading some of the journals on BabyCenter and that inspired me to seek out other 'journals'. When I started searching and the first two blogs I latched on to were Manana Banana and So Close. They are both great writers and I loved being able to check in on them.

Eventually, I went through my first cycle, and that was about the time that Cyclesista was born. I added my blog to the list and before long people were commenting and I was reading more and more blogs. It was the first summer I did not have any type of a job or a commitment (besides IVF) so I spent a lot of time reading and researching IVF. I learned a lot and I put that knowledge to good use -- if I had not been so pro-active I do not think I would have had the courage to keep pursuing treatments and therefore would not have ended up with Bo.

Then I made actual friends in the blogosphere. Emmie from Fertility Lost and Spanglish from Welcome to the Cysterhood are both women that I consider true friends and would love to have the opportunity to meet them in person one day. And meet their little ones too!

I still read blogs and a lot of them now deal with parenting (with a few fun ones and food ones thrown in). I feel a lot more ready for the challenges that are coming my way because a lot of the issues I face have already been dealt with by someone I read. It helps me to feel prepared!

I also love the posts where people link to different products. I've bought everything from house slippers to baby toys based on what others have recommended. It is great to read about what others enjoy -- it makes me much more confident in my purchases!

My number one reason for reading blogs now is to keep up with the friends I've made along the way. Many of them are truly amazing women and I feel like a large part of the reason I am infertile was to meet them and be a part of this community. There still seems to be a special link between infertiles -- even when we are parenting after infertility.

3. I know you in real life. Can I read your old blog?

No, I'm sorry, but no. Many of my old posts were not meant to be read by anyone that I know in real life. (Mike is the only one who really knew about the old blog and he respected my privacy enough not to read it.) A few of my past posts talk about people in ways that should only be in my head but I used the blog to vent my frustration about different topics and sometimes that included people I know in real life.

I am considering transferring an edited version of the archives from the old blog to this blog. It will probably take me awhile since there is no fast way to move the posts but that will give me ample opportunity to edit them. (I really wish there was a way to copy the comments over too, as many of them have pretty valuable information in them. I don't think there is a way to do that.) Most of my archives are really focused on infertility but I would like for those posts to be available to someone who is Googling 2ww or beta numbers at 10dp5dt. Finding blogs of people who survived multiple IVF's and achieved the goal of motherhood gave me a lot of hope during my journey and I would like for my blog to continue to be able to do that.

4. Is there any way to see what you wrote without having to click on your site each day?

Yes, and I wish someone would have told me about it when I was new to the blogosphere. One way to keep up with blogs is a free site called bloglines. I LOVE bloglines and my blog roll in the sidebar is powered by this site. I try to keep my blog list to a hundred but right now it is more like 130ish. The bloglines service updates when someone updates their blog so you do not have to click on each site every day to see if they have updated.

You can also subscribe to my blog (in the right hand sidebar). This is probably ideal if you don't read a lot of blogs. By subscribing you will receive an email each time I write a post.

If you have any other questions, feel free to email them to me or leave them in the comments. I'm pretty much an open book! :)

And to those of you that do blog -- consider answering these questions. I would love to read your answers. Answering them myself really made me reflect and think about this strange culture that is 'blogging' (as well as write a crap-load of run-on sentences!).

Happy 3 Month Birthday, Baby Bo!

Bo,

You are 3 months old today and you couldn't be more handsome. We are sitting on the floor together while I type this. You are propped up on your Boppy and Maddie-cat is on my lap. You keep giving me the cutest little grins when I look over at you. I think you know I'm writing about you.

To celebrate your 3 month birthday (and two of the yearbook girls' birthdays!) we went out to lunch at El Rancherito today. The girls passed you around like a potato sack and you were very good! I was so proud of you!

You've grown and changed so much in the last 3 months. You are no longer an infant and now you are definitely my "big" baby as you weigh almost 15 lbs - all courtesy of mommy as you have been exclusively breastfed so far. You are wearing 6 month clothes and it won't be long before you need to move up a size again. You're already in size 2 diapers!

Just this week you found your hands and it is so fun to watch you clasp them together. You smile and coo. You love to be walked around by your Daddy and enjoy going to Grandma's each day. Grandma loves to "do exercises" with you and is always happy to see you!

Mommy, of course, thinks you are the cutest baby there ever was. You have chubby cheeks and a "milk belly" that truly makes you part of our family (only the other men's bellies are a development of wine and cheese...).

I now know, more than ever before, that everything does happen for a reason. You were the baby we were meant to have and you were worth the wait. I can't imagine not having you in my life.

Sure, there are times, like last night, when you decided to wake up at 2 am, that I really wanted to put my head back under the pillow and go back to sleep. But instead, once I had you situated for a midnight (or 2 am as the case may be) snack I was able to look down and think "wow, he is so incredible."

I don't think there is a day that goes by that your Daddy and I don't look at each other and wonder how we got so lucky. How did we combine to make a little person? You have definitely changed our lives.

I worry about lots of things (that's what Mommy's do) but most of all I worry about giving you a good life. About making sure your needs are met and that you are always loved. I hope you grow up to be a smart and caring man.

Thank you for being our baby.

I love you with all of my heart.

Love,
Mommy

P.S. I think this video of Grandpa with you says it all. I love where Grandpa says "beautiful" in true Grandpa fashion. You truly are the most beautiful aspect of our lives.



Yes, I know it is sideways. I have no idea how to fix that!

Weekend Round-Up

It's been a long 4 days -- and while I had good intentions of going into work this weekend to proof some pages -- well, I never quite made it there. I'll pay for that tomorrow! But overall, it was a good weekend...

On Friday, Mike and I went to Evansville. Mom watched Bo so that we could accomplish our tasks more efficiently. We didn't do anything really exciting but I did invest in a really neat new stroller! (It even has speakers so I can hook up my iPod so both Bo and I can listen to it! That prompted me to start working on uploading my cds, which is taking forever!) I also had a baked sweet potato and Cold Stone birthday cake remix ice cream! Yum!

This is the position we found Bo and Grandma Cindy in when we returned home from Evansville. It had obviously been a hard day of play!

Reagan was the first to try out the new stroller! It's even orange and black - school colors! I can't wait for it to warm up so we can use it!

On Saturday, Mom and I were talking on the phone and discussing what sounded yummy to eat. We couldn't really come up with anything but we both agreed that Pea-Fections sounded pretty darn amazing. Mike overheard me talking and said "well, let's go". So we picked up Mom and headed over for a late lunch. (Notice how a lot of the highlights of my weekend revolve around food!) When we returned home Mike let me take a nap, which was wonderful. It gave me the stamina to stay up late after Bo was in bed and watch an old movie (off the DVR) with Mike! Woohoo!

I'm enjoying some yummy broccoli cheese soup at Pea-Fections. Bo can't wait until he can eat real food -- they have a yummy looking kids menu!

Sunday started off with some typical household chores. Bo was kinda cranky all day which made me pretty cranky too! We are curious if he might be cutting teeth -- lots of drool and quite the crank at times this weekend!

Sunday afternoon, Mom, Mandy and I all went to see 27 Dresses. I really wasn't that impressed. It was okay but it made me feel sad more then it made me laugh. Oh well, at least there was popcorn! Mom and Mandy came back to our house for pizza and to visit with Bo afterwards.

Aunt Manny and Bo hanging out after we ate!

We celebrated President's Day with donuts from the local donut shop. (I am sure my weigh-in at Weight Watchers is going to be great tomorrow considering all I ingested this weekend -- oh well, back on track tomorrow!) We took Bo to Mom's for a little while this morning when we went to talk to a man about a big purchase that may be in our future (I'll hopefully have more details later in the week!). We had lunch with Mom and then headed home.

Leslie and her two little ones stopped by for a visit in the afternoon. It was great to see them! Her kids are ridiculously cute and articulate! (She brought Bo a froggie plate and silverware set! So adorable!) It was great to see all of them and visit with Leslie a bit. Leslie gives me major camera envy with her neat lens and flash!!

Bo checks out his green giraffe from his Bumbo seat this afternoon.

Definitely not the most exciting weekend ever, but we had fun and enjoyed being together. And really, you can't ask for much more than that!

*** I really wish blogger would fix their spell check! Agh! I rely on that way too much!

Welcome Home, Baby Gus!

I just want a send a shout out to Baby Gus who was able to come home from the hospital this week.

Gus was born the morning after Bo (less than 12 hours later!!) and has been in the NICU since then. It has been quite the journey for Gus and his family and they still have a long road ahead of them.

Gus was concieved during a cancelled IUI cycle so his mommy, Jill, is a fellow infertile. We share a friend (hi Jenny!) and started talking when we ended up at the same Labor and Delivery class and at the OB's office at the same time every week. We were even able to do a stress test together one day!

Jill has been amazing through everything and is such a witty and neat woman!

If you go to their site and can offer any words of encouragement to Jill, please sign her guestbook. Also, check out the pictures! Gus is SOOO cute! And Jill's picture with the breastmilk may spur a whole other post from me later in the week.

Otherwise Engaged

This picture was taken the night Mike proposed, December 14, 2002. I had on my favorite sweatshirt and no makeup and we both look a little tired -- but I wouldn't change a thing.

Yesterday, M at My Sanctuary had an interesting post about getting engaged. Go read it, I'll wait.

She heard that 80% of women were not satisfied with how they became engaged and asked about how others were engaged. "Did he propose? Did you propose? Did you hint and/or nag for him to ask you? Were you happy with the proposal?"

Because I am kinda crazy, and apparently like to write about my life, I wrote out my entire day from the day I was engaged. Here it is:

Grandpa woke me up this morning at home. I had gone home to surprise him at Skippers and see Jane about pageant stuff. Mom was frustrated with Fred because he wouldn't eat so she could give him his shot.

I called Mike on my way to Charleston - as usual. He was up and getting motivated. When I got home he met me downstairs and unloaded my car. I repacked and we started the journey home (yes, 3 homes!). :)

Our drive home was fairly normal - just regular talking, plotting and planning. We stopped at a McD's in Gibson City. I ordered hot cakes and sausage. Needless to say I managed to drip syrup all over my outfit -- good thing I was bumming it today... :)

We arrived home and decided to go out to lunch with Jim and Sherri at Bennigans. Yum. Then Mike and I were off to shop. Our first stop was Linens and Things - we got X-mas gifts for Mom, and a new shower holder -- then down to the "Commons" for my first trip there. We browsed and bought little but it did end up being the day of the soft beige bear from Pottery Barn. I think he will get a special name. :)

Next off we went to Geneva to do some browsing on State Street. I knew Mike was having the ring made but I wasn't supposed to receive it till after the state pageant in January. I decided to head to Starbucks while he went to check on it. His friend, Andy, happened to be in State Street at the time too. Mike came out and was holding his jacket funny but when I got across the street he told me it wasn't done yet and we continued shopping.

We returned home and soon after Pete and Jenni arrived -- tortellini was the plan for dinner. I went to brush my teeth and Mike showed his parents. I was oblivious. We made tortellini and I was in charge of stuffing - while I was getting a lesson from Jim about the wonders of cheese sauce Mike showed the ring to Pete and Jenni.

Mike told his mom he was going to ask me tonight in the dining room. Turns out I walked in soon after so Mike was a bit scared I had heard.

Eventually we all sat down to dinner -- tortellini, grilled salmon, broccoli, salad, French bread, and win. We all had a nice dinner with plenty of chatting - as usual.

At the end of the meal - it happened. Mike was staring at his plate and all of a sudden he looks at me and then around the table and said "Do all of you know how much I love this girl?" I said something to the effect of "stop-it" and "be quiet!". He didn't shut-up - all of a sudden he flung his chair back and was on one knee. In the back of my mind I knew this was it but it still seemed like he could be joking. That is when both of our brains shut-off and neither of us really remember (even a few hours later) what was said. Mike said he loved me - I make him happy - and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Then he asked "Will you marry me?" I said "yes" and he reached in his pocket for the ring. All I remember at that point is saying "Oh My God!" about seven times and kissing him while he was still on one knee. I looked around the table and Sherri and Jenni were both all watery and everyone was grinning from ear-to-ear. Sherri said we should have a few minutes together while they cleaned up - I vainly protested - needless to say we didn't clean up much.

We stared talking and I laughed that Mike had lied to me -- he told me he got a plain band - this one had beautiful side stones! I also couldn't believe he had known all afternoon. I was so excited I was giddy, giggly and couldn't breathe at some points.

Pete and Jenni left soon after due to Jenni's back but Jim, Sherri, Mike and I talked for quite awhile - we found out that stoplights have magnetic detectors in them to see the cars. It was an interesting conversation.

After Jim and Sherri went to bed we went down and talked by the pool table -- with the intention of playing pool but we never got that far -- we decided to get ready for bed and I decided I needed to write down my memories of the day - so here I am - laying on the little twin bed with Mike writing about my day -- the day I woke up suspecting nothing and will fall asleep knowing I will be with Mike FOREVER! :)

I typed that word for word from what I typed that night (I definitely use the word 'got' a lot less now!). Typing it tonight brought back so many memories of that night -- I can remember so much of it so vividly.

Obviously, you can tell from what I wrote that night that I knew he was going to propose - I just didn't realize it was going to be then. We had moved in together in June and we were both in school working on our masters. Around October we had decided to get married and set the date for October 31, 2003.

We kind of did things backwards. We were already living together and planning the wedding before we were engaged -- but for us, it just worked. I think we would have gotten married 2 months after we started dating if we would have been a little older and known that it wouldn't have been frowned upon!

Our Halloween wedding had to be post-poned because I won the pageant I was in later in January. And we had to keep our engagement a secret until after that pageant as well (that was such a mess!). Needless to say when I won the pageant the first thought that went through my mind was "shit, what about the wedding?". I called Starved Rock the next day and decided we would get married on the first holiday after I gave up my crown -- Valentine's Day!

As I've stated before, I'm a firm believer in the thought process that 'everything happens for a reason'. (Even with infertility...) Everything happened for a reason and we ended up with a beautiful wedding. I still get a bit whimsical on Halloween about the wedding that should have been but I loved our Valentine's wedding and I think it was a lot of fun.

This is ridiculously long now!! Sorry! But suffice it to say. Yes, I was happy with the proposal and how it all played out. I can't imagine it all happening any other way.

Happy Anniversary!

This is the first picture of Mike and I together in March of 2002. We were at Starved Rock visiting with Mike's family.

Today is my 4th wedding anniversary! It seems like forever and just yesterday that we walked down the aisle.

Mike and I have been through so much together. I really can't imagine not having him in my life. We really are perfect for each other -- no one else would put up with either of us for very long!!

I truly have been blessed with a wonderful husband. :) He even does the dishes... (More on that in another post!)

This is us on our wedding day on the same deck at Starved Rock where our first picture was taken. We always have been crazy!

Last year, we met with Dr. J to start our cycle the day before our anniversary. I took my first lupron shot to start making Bo on our anniversary. My biggest wish this time last year was that we would have a little one to share our anniversary with this year.

Wishes do come true!

Showering

Bo asleep on my bathroom rug.

I'm not sure what I expected but I've been very surprised how much more time consuming and often difficult even the most mundane tasks are when it is just mommy and baby in the house.

Before Bo arrived I took my morning showers for granted. It was usually the first thing I did after waking up and putting my contacts in. It was what woke me up in the morning. A necessary evil before getting the day started. Now, a shower is much more difficult and seems to take a lot longer too (and I've never been known for quick showers to begin with!).

Now, my morning starts out differently. Instead of an alarm I usually awake to sounds of Bo talking to the bears on the Cubs Mobile that hangs above his crib or hammering the art card I put in his crib each night down between the crack of the headboard and the mattress. I walk in and when he sees me I'm greeted by a big smile. That makes getting out of bed when I'd really like to sleep a little while longer much more tolerable!

I get him out of his sleepsack and mittens and change his diaper before we do anything else. Usually while he is on the changing table he realizes he's ravenous and starts to announce that "it's chow time" in typical Bo fashion. I get him changed and get myself organized in the glider for his morning "moose munch" (the lovely nickname I've started calling Bo's meals).

We usually rock for a little while after he eats while I try to get myself motivated to really start the day. He smiles, talks, sticks out his tongue and blows bubbles! This is definitely the most enjoyable part of my morning.

When I finally get motivated I dress Bo and then we head to my bathroom. I wash his face and put moisturizer on it. Unfortunately, I think he has my skin -- very, very dry! Once he is ready for the day I set him on the Boppy on the bathroom rug while I get ready and take my shower.

Most days this goes pretty well. He will entertain himself by looking at the wallpaper or just talking. It gives me some time to straighten things upstairs, take my shower and get ready for the day.

This morning though, he was having NONE OF IT. I had just stepped in the shower when he started wailing. Why? I have no idea. I jumped out of the shower, soaking wet, and tried to give him his paci. That did NOT work. I got back in the shower to at least get the shampoo out of my hair while he continued to scream bloody murder. I left the shower door open so I could see him and make sure there was not anything wrong -- and there wasn't -- he just felt like screaming. He managed to wiggle himself down off the Boppy completely so he was just laying on the bathroom rug.
I quickly finished my shower but by the time I was dry he had tuckered himself out. And I had a tuckered out baby asleep on my bathroom rug. (I moved the Boppy when I ran to grab the camera. It seemed like a suffocation risk -- yes, I'm anal.)

Needless to say, this was, of course, right in front of my sink. But I managed to work my way around him and his nap in my bathroom gave me plenty of time to get ready this morning. I even found time to trim my fingernails! (Which I've been meaning to do for 5 days now! Woohoo!)

This is the wallpaper I have on one wall in my bathroom. The room is decorated in frogs (I've collected them for years) and I picked the wallpaper 4 years ago with the intention of this being a kids bathroom. It's very busy and provides lots of things to look at. I can't wait until we can talk about each aspect of the paper and he can point to the frog, butterfly, fish, turtle, etc.

Happy Snow Day!

To celebrate my day off work I have been singing to Bo several lines from my favorite childhood cartoon. The only difference is I say "Bobee" instead of "Lambert".

"Bobee, the sheepish lion. Bobee, the sheepish lion."

I have a problem...

Mike and Bo grinning for the camera!

Bo practicing his push ups.

You see, I think my kid is the cutest child to ever grace the planet.

But, I am sure you feel that way about your child(ren) too.

I was just sure I would have an ugly baby. I even "made a deal with the devil" that he could be ugly as a baby as long as he was cute when he was older.

But ever since the first time I laid eyes on him I've just thought he was the cutest thing since sliced bread.

So how do I know if it's just my Mommy bias or if he really is cute? Is there really any way to know? I mean obviously people tell me he is cute but is anyone really going to tell me he is ugly?

I guess if this is my biggest problem it's been a pretty good day -- wouldn't you agree??

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog -- "Sticky Feet" Part Deux.

If you are a long time reader of my old blog, Sticky Feet, I'm so glad you found me! (A big thanks to Mel for posting about my address change on the Lost and Found!) I'm sorry I abandoned the old blog without warning but if you would like access to the old blog just send me an email (whenwilltheystick at gmail dot com) with your email address (or leave a comment) and a link to your blog and I'll invite you!

Some of you I know in real life -- a big welcome to you as well. Unfortunately, I do not want my old blog to be read by people I know in real life, hence, the new blog. The old Sticky Feet blog saw me through some very difficult times in my life and there are many things on that blog that are not meant to be read by people who I actually have to see face-to-face on a semi-consistent basis.

I hope that through this new blog I will be able to combine the "infertile" Jamie with just Jamie. Some of you may click here once and realize that reading my blog isn't for you. Pretty much it is just my random ramblings and most of them really aren't that interesting or entertaining! But I enjoy blogging and I wanted a space to be able to share my randomness with anyone who felt like reading. I wrote my first blog post in 2005 and started seriously blogging in April of 2006. Since then I've been a part of the infertile blogging community and I've been blessed to have made many new friends around the world. I wouldn't be the person I am today without them!

For several weeks I've been pondering what to do about my blog. While I will always be an infertile and my blog will most likely always take an "infertile" slant on things I also wanted a place to share information about our daily lives with my real life family and friends. I thought about having two blogs simultaneously but after much soul searching I realized that just one blog that combines my real life and cyber life together is what I need.

So here it is, "Sticky Feet" Part Deux: The After Birth. haha!

Plans...

This weekend turned out a lot differently than we had originally planned!

Before "the cold from hell" we were suppose to go see my MIL and FIL this weekend. On Saturday morning I was registered to take the GRE (which will finish my application for the Ph.D. program I am applying for at NIU) and on Saturday night Mike and I were suppose to spend our first night without Bo -- at the Herrington -- to celebrate our anniversary.

After Bo was in the hospital this week we decided that traveling with him this weekend probably wasn't the smartest idea ever. We're sad because we wanted to do all of those things (and spend time with Mike's parents, especially Mike's dad because today is his 60th birthday!!) but overall our weekend did not turn out too badly!


Friday afternoon I went with Mandy for haircuts and Mike made dinner. As we were finishing dinner we were greeted by a knock at the door -- one of my favorite yearbook girls and her boyfriend came by, with a homemade lemon cheesecake for us! They came in and I put Bo to bed and we ended up playing Wii with them (and another one of my favorite yearbook girls) until 11 when I had to kick them out because I was just so exhausted. Bo decided to punish me for having fun and woke up at 12:30 and 4:30 that night too!

Saturday we spent most of the day just working around the house and playing with Bo. Mike even worked on the wine cellar some. Mom came over in the evening to let Mike and I go out for a little while on our own -- we went to the Trace Inn for dinner and went shopping for a little while. It was nice to get out on our own -- and we are both so glad that we are all feeling better! We really weren't gone that long and we managed to make it back with plenty of time to give Bo a bath and put him to bed. (No punishment from Bo on Saturday night -- he slept from 8 to 7:15 -- straight through!! I wish I could figure out what is different the nights he sleeps all the way through!!)

Today we did our typical Sunday morning newspaper routine. I can't help but love Sunday mornings at home -- it really is one of my favorite times of the week. This afternoon Mom came over again and kicked us out of the house (I think she just needs her daily one-on-one fix with Bo) so we went to see Juno and I loved it!


If you haven't see Juno yet, you definitely need to. This was our first movie since before Bo was born so maybe that made it extra good for me but I really did enjoy it. Some of the lines were classic. I may have to write an entire post about this later in the week!


Now, Bobee is in bed and I am getting ready to cuddle on the couch with Mikey to watch the LOST episode we DVRed this week. I guess it just goes to show that even when things don't go exactly as planned they can still turn out pretty well!

TAG

Mandy tagged me!

Here are the rules:
a. list seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself
b. tag seven people to do the same
c. do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it"


1) My biggest craving during pregnancy was mint chocolate. York Peppermint Patties were my number one favorite but I also loved mint hot chocolate from Ophelia's, mint meltaways from Grahams, and I even ate mint chocolate Pop-Tarts. No wonder I gained so much weight!

2) Not knowing where we will be at this point next year is killing me. I am a planner. I like to have a plan and very specific goals. I absolutely hate that there is nothing we can do about it and 90% of it hinges on Mike's job.

3) Being a teacher has been one of the best experiences of my life. It has tested and tried my patience in ways I didn't know were possible. It has made me more open and more understanding (and more bitter...). Most importantly, I've had the opportunity to bond with a few very special girls that I know were brought into my life for a reason.

4) It is hard for me to look back at where I was in my life a year ago. This time last year I was still struggling so much to become pregnant and now I have a sleepy little Bo sitting in his bouncy seat beside me while I type this. It just seems so impossible (and scary!) how much your life can change in a year.

5) I know that no one will ever love me the same way Grandpa did. No one will ever love me that unconditionally and in that same way again. That makes me unbelievably sad but it gives me hope that I can love Bo with that same intensity. I want Bo to never doubt how I feel about him the way I never had to doubt how Grandpa felt about me.

6) My ideal winter day would consist of a comfortable massaging recliner, unlimited mint hot chocolate, a novel I've never read, and a warm blanket. I'd curl up by the fireplace and just be.

7) My ideal summer day would consist of going to the beach at a large resort hotel. I'd enjoy a luxirious massage on the beach and drink strawberry daquiris and pina coladas by the truckload. I'd eat lots of fresh food -- avocados, fresh fruit, smoked salamon. I'd read a great novel and get a sunburn. When I got tired of reading I'd roll around in the sand and then run into the ocean to rinse it all off.

Tag...Andy, Leslie, Jamie, Jess, Jenny, Emmie, and Sara

Home

We were released yesterday evening and made it home about 7ish. Bo and I both slept much better in our own beds.

Bo's fever seems to have broken but he still has a runny nose. He still isn't totally back to normal with all of the snot and he isn't smiling at much as usual but you can definitely tell he feels better than he did before.

We are to give him baby Tylenol if his fever starts to go back up and call the doctor if anything gets worse.

While we are definitely glad to be out of the hospital I have to admit that in a way it was nice to be there. It is much easier to just focus on Bo when that is all there is to do. No dishes, no laundry, no going to work. Just Bo. That was nice. I need to work on doing that more. Everything else will be there but Bo will only be little once.

Spoken as I get ready to head to work. Midterms are today and I'm no where close to ready... :(

Still in the hospital

We are still in the hospital but overall we had a good night and it looks like we might get to go home today! Just a few more tests! Yay!

I did not get much sleep but Bo did pretty well considering all of the people in and out plus a strange place to sleep. He didn't go down until about 10 and then we were up for checks at 12, 2, 4 and 6. Fun!

He is still running a temperature (101.4) but Dr. K is feeling more and more confident that it is just what Mike and I both had. Not that that is a good thing but it is definitely significantly better than what it could be.

Interesting tidbits to note from throughout the night.

1. Babies can produce a LOT of snot.

2. My labor nurse was the nurse that came in to do our check at 4 (OB is empty -- Peds is full -- she says I bring a crowd!!). She remembered us and was amazed by how much Bo has grown. (14 lb 13 oz at yesterdays appointment! What a big boy for 11 weeks!!)

3. The pediatrician is a former infertile (now with 4 kids - 3 from Purgenol (singleton and twins) and then one 'surprise'). He is incredibly nice and quite personable. We talked about infertility for 20 minutes this morning! My favorite comment was "You were obviously doing it wrong -- you have too much education and you aren't on public aid!" haha! I'm not the only bitter one out there! (Our family doctor is also an infertile... It's amazing how many wonderful people you meet when you are an 'out' infertile! 1 in 6 people in the US deal with infertility and I'm on my way to meeting most of them! ha!)

4. Apparently I must come across as halfway knowledgeable and respectable. "You're responsible and nice and I'm sure you can do what you are doing here at home. Not that nice has anything to do with it." So I must not be the worst Mom ever even though my 11 week old is in the hospital.

5. Mike came by about 6:30 on his way to work. My mom is coming up today and if we get out before Mike is off work we will ride home with her. I hope to run to the hotel and take a shower when she gets here. Sleeping at the hospital is just blah!

I just read through my last post... Please ignore any spelling, grammar or just randomness in these last two posts. I'm tired. :(

Bo is in the hospital

Yes, you read that right. Baby Bo is in the hospital. :(

Turns out the yuckie cold that both Mike and I have had over the past week has finally been passed off to Bo and it landed the little guy in St. Anthony's Hospital in Effingham.

I was sick Thursday, Friday and Saturday and Mike has been sick since then. Mike has not been to work all week he has felt so bad. :(

Bo started being a bit fussy yesterday and had a slight temperature last night at bedtime. We checked him again this morning and his temp was higher. We called the doctor and they said just to watch him and if his temp rose any higher to call back.

When I finished with school today we took Bo's temperature again and called the doctor's office back. They said to bring him in. It was getting too high and it was time to see him.

By the time we got to the office (1 hour away) his temp was even higher 102.6 and that is too high for his age. Apparently there are a lot of things that can go wrong with little ones (under 3 months) when they have high temps they really need to check a lot of things out. Our doctor is just a family doctor so he refered us to a pediatrician down the hall who had us admitted to the hospital immediately. He followed us over and started all of the tests he wanted done. He said that he is 99% sure that Bo just has the same virus that Mike and I had but he wasn't willing to bet his life (or Bo's) on it and therefore felt it was in Bo's best interest to have everything checked out.

So off we came to St. Anthony's, which is just as full with little ones as it was in the OB unit when I had Bo. They had to bring up an old school crib for him because they are totally out.

They did a spinal tap to check for meningitis. They did not want us in the room when they did this so we were down the hall and it made me very, very uncomfortable to hear Bo scream. He was quite upset. During all of the other tests I was able to be with him.

They took blood out of his arm (like an adult) to run tests on. That brought back some awful IVF flashbacks as they dug around in his little arm to find a vein. I know how much that hurts me -- I can't imagine how much it must hurt him!

They also catherized him to get a urine sample! Ouch! And we went down to x-ray and had a chest x-ray done.

There are still some tests that take 24 hours to culture but so far the only thing that looks a bit abnormal is the chest x-ray with some bronchial issues. We are probably looking at bronchitis or just a really bad head and chest cold.

Mike drove back to Olney to get us all supplies and I am staying at the hospital with Bo. Mike is staying at the same hotel he stayed at when I had Bo. I'll go there in the morning to shower and so forth.

Bo is asleep in the "jail" crib they brought for him so I should try to get some sleep myself. I'll update more when I know more.

I Voted.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have been a staunch Republican since I was born. I've always been political. I have a MA in Political Science. I love to watch CNN and I've always had strong political opinions (well, actually opinions in general...). Until this year I've taught high school history and government too. So needless to say, elections are one of my favorite times and I always vote.

I still remember my first Republican fundraiser - it was at the local community building and I was given a button with Ronald Reagan wearing a cowboy hat on it. I still have that button...

Many of my political beliefs stem from my Grandpa. He was very involved with the Republican Party locally in the 50's and 60's and conveyed some of these values to me.

I still remember how mad I was at Grandpa when he wanted to put a sign for one of his friends that was a Democrat...

And my old boss still says one of his proudest moments was when I was speaking at a Republican meeting at the state fair grounds and said "and I'm a Republican." He said that he was getting out of the car as he heard he say it and that it was priceless. haha!!

I even served as my counties Republican Party Chairlady for a short amount of time a few years ago.

But as I've aged, and as I've gained more education I am starting to see that the world isn't as black and white as I once thought.

Yes, many of my values are Republican values. I don't believe in abortion. I believe in a trickle down economy. I am for the death penalty. I believe that in a lot of ways the government should back off. I don't think that the government needs to help absolutely everyone (especially the lazy people who really could work but instead are on welfare and eat better than I do because they have food stamps that my tax dollars pay for...).

And while I did pull a Republican ballot today, I hate to admit that if I have my druthers I will be voting for Obama in November. I honestly can't say that I am a big fan of any of the Republican presidential candidates and I don't see that any of them has a snowballs chance in hell of winning the general election.

Obama isn't perfect. I disagree with him on many issues - healthcare and mortgages are two of the hot topics right now that I totally disagree with him on. But I think he does have the best interest of the country at heart and given a choice between Clinton and Obama... (which is really where I think we are) well, I have to say that I hope hands down that Obama walks away with the prize.

And if Hilary Clinton wins the Democractic nomination, and later the Presidency, I will have to move to Canada. I can not stand that woman. But that is a source for a whole other post...

I'm a Republican for Obama this year.

Happy 96th Birthday, Grandpa!

Grandpa with Baby Jamie. Grandpa was 70 when I was born!

Me sleeping on Grandpa's lap.

Grandpa and me before my 8th grade Christmas dance.

Grandpa always let me pamper him. Here we were doing mud masks but we also did nails, toenails, etc. He had blue toenails for a very long time -- and sometimes sparkly fingernails!

Grandpa and me on his 90th birthday.

Today, my Grandpa would be turning 96.

Grandpa was more than just a Grandpa to me. Grandpa was, as most people would define the term, my dad. When my mom became pregnant with me she moved home and Grandpa bought the house I grew up in. By the time I was a little over a year old we were living with Grandpa. We lived with Grandpa until I was 9 and then Mom got married. The marriage didn't work out and we moved back in with Grandpa when I was 12.

For all rights and purposes, I was raised by my mom and my grandpa. For most people this seems like a hard concept to grasp. It is strange but it really did work for us. Oh, I wish we would have had a bigger house and there were definitely times when the 90 - 50 - 20 age gap was an issue but for the most part we all co-existed pretty well.

When I think back over the course of my lifetime Grandpa was always there for everything that mattered. He gave me breakfast when I would crawl out of bed early in the morning (before Mom wanted to get up). He was there when I got my drivers license, graduated from high school and college, etc. He walked me down the aisle when I got married.

Somehow he managed to balance the Grandpa/Dad act too. He was the one that spoiled me and always got me the "big ticket" items that I really wanted. My Nintendo when I turned 9, my GameBoy when I turned 10, he paid for half of my car when I turned 16 and almost all of a brand new car when I graduated from college. He paid me for good grades which really kept me motivated! Heck, in middle school when I went on a hunger strike he even paid me to eat. (Yeah, I know... I said I was spoiled!)

Two summers ago Grandpa and I were sitting at the old house on the back porch. I had just found out that my first IVF cycle had failed. I made Grandpa promise that he wouldn't go anywhere until I had a baby. He promised and said he didn't have any intention of going anywhere. He kept his promise...

Today, Mom and I released red balloons with cards from all of us. It may seem strange to most but for us, it just seemed right. The balloons took off towards the little town where Grandpa was born. I told Mom they were headed there to have a drink. Grandpa loved a stiff Walkers 'n water.

We also had a chocolate cake with chocolate icing that Mom ordered. We lit a candle and the whole works.

Yep, we celebrated a dead man's birthday. But celebrating is better than crying.

The Cold from Hell

I have a horrible cold.

Can you say "feel like crap??"

Bo and I went to my mom's for most of the day yesterday. I laid on her couch and blew my nose and she took care of entertaining Bo. Thank goodness. I was feeling so awful I really don't think I could have handled him all day on my own. She made supper for Mike and I too. Mom's are definitely good things to have around!

I still went to school yesterday because I don't have any sick days left. When I came back to Mom's my fever was over 102. I felt really bad for going to school then -- I hope I didn't get any of my girls sick.

I called the doctor and spoke with a nurse. She said that there really isn't anything I can take since I am breastfeeding. Agh! I did decide to take some Tylenol though -- I took it a few times during my pregnancy and most doctor's give it the okay. Oh how I would kill for a Sudafed though!

My milk supply is down quite a bit. I guess that is to be expected when one is sick. I just hope it comes back, full force! I usually pump about 8 ounces after his first feeding of the day and this morning I only got about 3. I'm glad I have a frozen supply to top him off with.

Mike is off work today so he is doing most of the "Bo duty". We were suppose to take Bo for his 2 month appointment and shots but it snowed quite a bit here (and I'm still sick) so we called and canceled. We go in two weeks. He is going to weigh a ton and be 3 months old!) by that point.