Wordless Wednesday: Proud

More Wordless Wednesday here.

SAHM, WAHM, WOHM???

SAHM - Stay at Home Mom
WAHM - Work at Home Mom
WOHM - Work Outside the Home Mom

Most mothers fit in one of 3 categories -- they are SAHM, WAHM, or WOHM. The issue? Where the heck do I fit?

Currently, I feel like I fit the bill for all three roles.

I'm a SAHM in some ways since I'm at home with Bo except for 11-2 when I go to work at the high school. I'm the breastfeeding, baby food making, laundry doing, house cleaning, grocery buying, list making, get up in the middle of the night cause I'm "not working" SAHM. (Yes, I know, all Mom's do all this stuff... And it isn't that Mike doesn't help, he does... I just feel like I'm responsible for a lot of it since I am home more!)

My house is usually pretty immaculate -- mostly because I'm totally anal retentive (Bah, to people who said it could not be done once I had a child! I WILL find a way!) and also because we are trying to sell it and I want it ready to show whenever it is needed. And, 9 times out of 10, Mike comes home to a home cooked meal ready and waiting for him.

I'm also currently a WAHM. After Bo goes down for the night I've been spending the rest of my evening training for my new teaching position. I've been on the computer at least 2 hours each evening and usually during Bo's naps working on various aspects of the training. By the time I finish my training at night my brain is totally fried, I'm seeing blue and yellow spots, and I'm exhausted.

And of course, I am a WOHM too because I am working part-time at the high school. Any teacher knows that there is no such thing as being a part-time teacher... I won't bore you with the details but I will say, it's consuming. Especially considering we are publishing a book that has to be totally finished in just a few weeks and we're only about half done. (Yes, it always comes together at the end...)

Therefore, here I am wondering where I fit in. But even more than that, where I want to fit in. At this point, the world is my oyster. Which classification do I want to have? I have to figure out what I want my role to be and really think about what is best for not only my family, but also for me.

Each "title" has perks and negatives. Some of the negatives are even perks for others. But the fact is I'm really struggling to figure out what I want my ultimate "Mommy title" to be. I already know that no matter which path I take someone is going to judge me. Ultimately, I have to please myself.

I unintentionally decided to try all the titles out at once. And I must say, I'm tired...

So, tell me, what are you? A SAHM, a WAHM, or a WOHM and what factors led you to your title? Are you happy with you position? If you had to do it over again, what would you change? Help me make an informed decision!

What do you want for Mother's Day??

Last Sunday, as we were driving home from the in-laws and listening to the Cubs game on the radio. An ad came on about bringing Mom to the ballpark for Mother's Day and Mike immediately looked in the review mirror and asked me what I would like for my first Mother's Day.

First of all, thank God for whomever advertises this sort of thing during a baseball game. Otherwise, Mike would have been none the wiser. I take care of the gifts for our mom's every year (and well, all other gifts...) and honestly, I don't think he would have had a clue.

I love Mike to death but there is a reason that our anniversary is Valentine's Day and my birthday is the 4th of July -- but that still doesn't mean that I receive stellar gifts. And honestly, I'm typically okay with this. When I want something, I buy it. Sometimes I ponder it for 3 years (like I did with my Canon XTi) and wish I had invested sooner but part of being a grown-up is realizing "Hey, I work. If I really want something, I'll buy it for myself. It doesn't have to be a holiday!"

My initial react to Mike's question was "nothing." It's my typical answer.

After pondering for a few minutes, I responded, "a night where I don't have to listen to Bo."

It's been over 5 months since I've had a total uninterrupted nights sleep. Most nights he gets up once for a feeding, which isn't horrible, but even on nights when he sleeps through I still wake up worried about him. (I should also mention that Mike does not get up with him. Mike has to drive to work and I don't want him to be tired on his drive. And even when I do want him to get up (on the weekends) and stick the paci back in it very rarely happens. Mike sleeps like the dead. Seriously, I think I could throw a party in the room and Mike would be none the wiser.)

This week I started thinking about all of the monetary gifts I'd love to have: a new laptop, Photoshop CS3, Wii Fit, an amazing new lens for my camera, a Fukudome Cubs shirt, the Juno Dvd, a Bose dock for my iPod, hardcover copies of the new Emily Giffin and Jennifer Weiner books, etc. (I have a bad case of the "I wants" huh? My wishlist of items for Bo is even longer!!) And then I realized, ya know, I obviously don't NEED any of these things. If I needed it it would already be in my house! And if I really wanted it, then I'd buy it. Until then, it can stay on my wishlist!

And heaven knows, I already have the best Mother's Day gift in the world... I wished for him for so long...
but I still wouldn't mind a night where I didn't have to have a monitor in my ear!
What do you want this Mother's Day? :)

Shh!... I have a Secret!

Recently, a book arrived in the mail. I immediately tore the package open, sat down, and allowed Bo to enjoy some independent tummy-time while I read the entire thing.

Bo was fine, of course, and I was less than two feet from him, but I still felt bad since I "should" have been playing with him.

Luckily, the book was Dirty Little Secrets of Otherwise Perfect Moms by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. It takes all of about 15 minutes to read and is the ideal book for taking away a bit of that "Mommy Guilt" that we all have. You know, that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're ruining your child by not spending every waking minute showing them flashcards or when you let them watch "SpongeBob" while you attempt to take a shower.

Not that long ago I was given some very good advice -- take the "should" out of my life. I "should" make a five-course meal every night. I "should" play with Bo every second he is awake. I "should" be little miss Suzie Homemaker. I "should" do lots of things...

I love that this book, in a nutshell, says "to hell with the shoulds".

Even though we all want to be "perfect" moms, to do that, we would no longer be ourselves. And won't our spawn be better off in the long run if they not only learn to entertain themselves, but learn that the world does not center TOTALLY around them?? Amazingly, Mommy actually does have other things that have to be done each day, no matter how much she loves you!

This book gives Mom's a break and heaven knows, we need it! I think this is a cute book and would make a great birthday gift (or Mother's Day!) for a friend who is a mom.

Since my blog went public to my "real life" friends I've found myself airing fewer and fewer of my own "dirty little secrets". My old blog was more of a journal and I ranted and raved about whatever I was feeling that day -- and while I still do that here -- it isn't the same. Heaven forbid someone figure out that I'm really not perfect! ;)

Luckily, Mothertalk is sponsoring a contest for the best "dirty little secret". The grand prize is a $25 Amazon giftcard!

Shh!... I have a secret!

Wordless Wednesday: Eyelashes

More Wordless Wednesday here.

My Bio

I began "intensive" training for my new online teaching position today. Needless to say, substantive blog posts will probably be less prevalent over the next few weeks as all of my writing ability (haha!) will be needed for training.

Our first assignment was to write a 300-500 word biography to introduce ourselves to each other. I am posting what I wrote. Let me know what you think and if there is anything significant I left out that my new colleagues might like to know about me!

To my students, I’m affectionately referred to as “Mc.We.it.l.” No, I don’t supply Chicken McNuggets during each class period, I co-advise the yearbook with my best friend, Miss McKn.ight. Many people at our school think of us as one person and therefore the name “Mc.W.eit.l” was born as a combination of Miss McKnight’s last name and my last name, We/itl. Since we will be colleagues, and you have no idea who Miss McKni.ght is, you can just call me Jamie. ;)

Miss Mc.Kn.ight and I met during my junior year of high school as members of the yearbook staff. My senior year, we were co-editors-in-chief and we made the decision to return to our Alma Matter to teach. Amazingly, we did just that and we now teach next door to each other.

I attended Eas.tern Illinois University where I received my bachelor’s degree in Social Science Secondary Education (minors in journalism and driver ed) and my master’s degree in Political Science. For the last five years, I have taught high school social science, English, and yearbook. I can’t imagine a more rewarding career. Teaching for the (insert online college name here...) seems like a great fit for me because it will supplement my income and still allow me to do something I love – teach!

On Valentine’s Day of 2004, I married the love of my life, Mike. We met in college and honestly, I can’t imagine my life without him. In November, after battling infertility, we finally added a new member to our family, our son, Bo. Bo is my sunshine and makes every day brighter!

Free-time is not abundant right now. With a 5-month-old, a yearbook to finish, and a home to maintain there isn’t a lot of spare time. When I do have a free moment, I love to read, blog, travel, and bake. I am also a sports fan! Go Cubs Go!

Teaching for the (insert college name here) seems like it will be a great fit for me. I love the idea of flexible hours and being able to work while Bo naps. I’m looking forward to training and getting to know each of you.

Grandpaisms

Grandpa and me on my Wedding Day.

As you know, I was raised by my mom and my grandpa. I credit Grandpa for many of my philosophies. Truly, it's scary when I think about how many of my thoughts and ideas stem from Grandpa -- my thoughts on family, politics, religion, money, debt, education, work ethic, etc. All of them come from ideals that my grandpa established. (Don't get me wrong -- Mom had a big influence there too, especially in making sure that I can always take care of myself -- but Grandpa was her original philosopher as well!)

One of the greatest lessons that Grandpa ever taught me was regarding debt. Grandpa grew up during the Great Depression and while his family was fairly well-off for the time, that time period influenced many of his thoughts regarding money...

One aspect of my Grandpa that people in today's society find interesting is that my Grandpa never had any debt. Yes, that's right. NEVER. He never had a loan. He never had a credit card. He never had a mortgage. It pained him greatly to have to wait until a CD came due to buy his last house. His philosophy was "if you don't have the money to pay for it, don't buy it." When he bought anything, he paid in cash.

I never really understood how much of an influence his ideas about money had on me until recently. I naively thought that my thoughts regarding money were the same as everyone else, but apparently I'm in the minority. I have never paid a dime of interest on a credit card. I've never had a car loan. I started saving for retirement at 17 (Grandpa went with me to set up the account). I paid for my own undergraduate degree but did have a small student loan for my masters (which is now paid off - less than 3 years after completing the degree). There are thousands of examples -- and these are just the ones dealing with money -- but you get the idea.

What disturbs me is that nearly every decision I make I can still hear Grandpa and I know what his advice would be:

"Should we move up North?" Jamie asks.

"Don't you like it here?" Grandpa replies.

"What should we do with the money?" Jamie asks.

"Pay off your house." Grandpa replies.

"What should we name our son?" Jamie asks.

"I don't know. Philip? John? Henry? Not Bo. He won't like that name. Hehehe." Grandpa replies. (Even though secretly, I think he was honored!)

Every part of my life has been influenced by Grandpa. In seventh grade, I thought I wanted to be a chiropractor. Grandpa's response, "are you sure you want to touch those nasty, old people?". That was the end of that idea.

Every major decision I've made with Grandpa by my side. Even though I was head over heels for Mike long before Grandpa met him when Grandpa actually LIKED him, Wow! And when Mike asked if he could marry me and Grandpa said "yes" without any hesitation, I knew he was definitely the one. Grandpa has never liked anyone my Mom was with except my dad -- and I never really understood that one either...

I can hear him -- in every part of my life. From the mundane "Do you want some cake?" to the important decisions about what direction to take with my life.

It's the strangest things that make it real... I wish he was here so I could talk to him about different things... So we could argue. We were good at that. Mom says it's what kept him young for so many years.

The last 5 months are a blur -- of Grandpa's short illness and death -- of bringing Bo home and new motherhood. It has been a whirlwind. So much so that most days I do not allow myself the time to think about what life would be like if Grandpa was still here. I know that in many ways the timing could not have been more appropriate. Bo's birth has given both Mom and me a reason to keep going and a reason to be happy. I can't imagine how hard Grandpa's death would have hit if we hadn't had Bo to focus on...

Even so, some days I just miss him so "God Damn" much...

Grandpa, Me, and Mom on the day I graduated from EIU. In this picture Grandpa is 90, I'm 20, and Mom is 50. The age gaps sure did make for some entertaining conversations!

From My Cellphone

My first post from my cellphone. I am just trying it out on our long drive home. Overall it was a good weekend, better than we expected. Full update tomorrow. Bo says hi!

Little Earthquakes*

This morning I sat straight up in bed -- my house was shaking!! Mike, ever the mellow man, stayed horizontal and said "I think it's an earthquake." Bo, use to being jostled, didn't even wake up!

Our most traumatized family member was one of our fur babies, Wilson. He would not come out of the basement this morning and Mike had to take his breakfast downstairs to him. Poor guy!

Turns out the earthquake's origin was not far from our little town. Luckily, everyone I've talked to is okay and no one has sustained any major damage.

It was such a strange feeling!! I was in the middle of a very odd dream and to be shaken awake was just odd. Needless to say I had a difficult time going back to sleep and Mike and I both had to go look at Bo (and watch him breathe) to make sure he was okay.

The last time I remember an earthquake was in 1987. I was 6 and my mom and I were shopping at Wal-Mart with Sister Theresa Ann. (Mom was principal at a local Catholic school at the time...). We were in the toy section and the lights went out and several toys fell off the shelves. That evening Mom bought me the book Hop on Pop and I remember cuddling in Grandpa's chair reading it later that evening. Grandpa was at stag night at the Elks! Strange, the things I remember.

I'll definitely have to document this in Bo's baby book -- first earthquake at 5 months old!

* The title is from a Jennifer Weiner book. Love her writing!!

Wordless Wednesday: Spring

More Wordless Wednesday here.

"Twenty Minutes a Day"

"Twenty Minutes a Day."
By Richard Peck

Read to your children
Twenty minutes a day;
You have the time,
And so do they.

Read while the laundry is in the machine;
Read while dinner cooks;
Tuck a child in the crook of your arm
And reach for the library books.

Hide the remote.
Let the computer games cool,
For one day your children will be off to school.

Remedial? Gifted? You have the choice;
Let them hear their first tales
In the sound of your voice.

Read in the morning;
Read over noon;
Read by the light of
Goodnight Moon.

Turn the pages together,
Sitting close as you'll fit,
Till a small voice beside you says,
"Hey, don't quit."

On Monday, when I checked my mailbox at school there was a copy of Goodnight Moon. The book was from our school librarian. She included the poem above and on the front she put, "For Bo".

Maybe I'm just overly emotional this week but the poem totally hit home for me. I love to read and I know it is because of the hours my mom spent reading to me.

One of my many dreams for Bo, it is for him to be a voracious reader. As a teacher and a parent, I can't think of a single instance where a parent can have as much influence as they can by reading to their children and modeling a love of reading.

Carrie at Life in the Soupbowl had a wonderful post about her favorite children's books. I find myself referring to her post often as I tend to purchase books for Bo fairly often (funny how I won't buy new books for myself -- I use Paperback Swap -- but buying them for Bo doesn't bother me at all!!). He already has my collection from when I was a little girl, but I love adding to his collection.

Bo and I read every morning when he gets up. We cuddle in the glider and enjoy a few minutes with a good book before our busy day begins. I hope that Mike and I are able to raise an intelligent little boy -- and for us, the first step, is creating a reader.

Bo and Mike reading Discover in the kitchen earlier this week. It was so cute to see Bo looking down at the words that I had to take a picture!

Grandma Cindy reading Bo a book in January. Bo was such a little guy!! I can't believe how quickly he is growing and changing!

Bo's bookshelf.

I think we may have to read Goodnight Moon before dinner...

I saw the sign...

On Friday afternoon we officially put our home on the market. Within an hour Mike had been cornered by a neighbor wanting the inside scoop. We have also received numerous phone calls, odd comments at random places in town (some from people I don't even know!), and an onslaught of questions from those that I do know and are "just curious." You definitely have to love the Ol.ne.y rumor mill....

At this point, we are not going anywhere. Honestly, I don't think our house is going to be one of those that flies off the market here in good ole' Southern Illinois. We've almost overbuilt for the area and since we are currently in no hurry to sell, we don't have to take a low-ball offer. On an even better note, if/when Mike is transferred, if the house doesn't sell for three months after we move, the government will buy it for its appraised value. Really, it's a win/win situation for us. Either we sell it now or the government buys it later.

If our house does sell, then we will move in with my mom while we wait to make our next decision. We will live there until the right opportunity(ies) arise and just save money. (FYI: she is thrilled by this idea.) If you've read here awhile, you realize that our ultimate goal is to move up north to be with Mike's parents and family but that isn't happening today. I'm not quitting my job. We don't have jobs up north, etc.

In many regards, I'm sad to even put our house on the market. We've done so much to it -- it is finally exactly how I like it and now that we have Bo, it truly feels complete. I love my house. I love all of the little aspects of it that make it our home. This is our first home. It's the place we came home to after our first day of our respective careers. It is where we've been since our wedding. It's where we've had countless family dinners, entertained friends, and built our life. It's the home we brought Bo home to...

At the same time, I know that this is the first step towards our future. Whatever that future may hold... Our future makes me feel a plethora of emotions. Mostly, I'm scared, sad, and excited. Scared of the unknown, scared if I will be happy, scared about new jobs, new houses, new situations... scared of leaving my comfort zone.

I'm sad to leave all of our hard work. Sad because I know this is the first step towards the real move -- the move that will take me away from my school, my yearbook, my 'Manny', my town, and many other friends and acquaintances...

But at the same time, part of me is excited.

Excited about the new opportunities that are ahead of us...

And one day, a new house to make a home...

Chocolate Mousse Cupcakes

Around Christmas time, Christina at Apron Strings posted about the many great cupcakes she was making from Cupcakes Galore. I bought myself the cookbook for Christmas and I've been enjoying many of the recipes.

Recently, I've been reading more and more food blogs. I really enjoy cooking, cookbooks, cooking shows (Top Chef), cooking magazines (Taste of Home, Everyday with Rachel Ray, Cuisine at Home) and, of course, eating. I'm finding myself spending many naptimes in the kitchen!

Inspired by Smitten Kitchen, Barefoot Kitchen Witch, and Greenlite Bites I thought I would do my own post for how to make one of the cupcake recipes in Cupcakes Galore (my recipe is very slightly altered). Plus, it gives me a new object to photograph -- while I love taking pictures of Bo, sometimes it's fun to photograph something that doesn't move! I took pictures of the entire cupcake making process.

I made these cupcakes on Saturday. My in-laws were in town and they seemed like they would be a yummy dessert for all of us to enjoy after dinner.

Ingredients:
4 heaping Tbsp. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
12 ounces dark chocolate
2 sticks unsalted butter
6 eggs, separated
1 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350. Mix flour, baking powder and salt together and set aside. Melt the chocolate (10 oz) and butter in the microwave.

Stir and set aside. Beat egg yolks and sugar until light yellow and foamy. Beat in the melted chocolate until totally blended.
Beat egg whites with a pinch of salt until stiff but not dry. Gently fold into chocolate mixture. Divide mixture into two parts (1/4 and 3/4) and put the smaller portion in the refrigerator to be used later to frost cupcakes. Gently whisk flour mixture into the larger portion until it is completely absorbed.
Fill cupcake papers about 2/3 full with batter and bake for 15 minutes. Do not overcook. Cupcakes should be just cooked and moist in the center. Remove from the oven and cool. When cupcakes are cool, frost with the remaining chocolate mousse.
Grate the remaining 2 oz. of chocolate. Decorate and enjoy!

Curriculum Vitae (haha)

I mentioned recently that I've worked since I was 12. Granted, I didn't start my career at 12 -- I'm not on that much of a fast track -- but I did start actual work that brought in cash that wasn't from my parents...

My jobs, chronologically:

1. Babysitting (August 1993- August 1997) -
After being obsessive about the Babysitter's Club series from the time I was 8 (I bought every book -- and I still have them) I was very excited to start babysitting. While I had several "clients" my regular babysitting job was for a young lady named Kate. Kate was 8 when I started watching her and we actually had a lot of fun together. I would walk to her house after school (or once in high school my boyfriend gave me a ride -- shh! don't tell my mom!!) and in the summer we would spend hours in her backyard pool. I had a great tan!!

2. IGA (July 1997-August 1998) -
"Would you like paper or plastic?" I was a checker and it was probably the job I have enjoyed the least. It was soooo boring, the hours were awful, and it took absolutely no brain power. I can remember just watching the hours on the clock tick by. Analyzing what people buy at the grocery store is only so entertaining...

3. Department of Motor Vehicles (June 1998-August 1998) -
The summer between my junior and senior year of high school I actually worked two jobs. I continued working at IGA (6pm-12am, plus weekends 8am-5pm) and also worked full time at the DMV (8am-5pm). That entire summer is one big blur -- but I sure saved up a lot of money!! This job was also ridiculously boring. I had the boss from hell so that made it slightly more entertaining. At least I had someone to argue with!! I was given this job due to my connections with the local Republican Party. (We won't tell them I'm voting for Obama in '08).

4. Spie.th Photography (August 1998-August 2002) -
The summer between my junior and senior year was a busy one. This was also the summer I participated in my first pageant and met one of my 'bosses-to-be', ML. After going in for my senior pictures and cracking up with MS over a Newt Gingrich gavel I was offered a job for Co-op. I readily accepted. This is the job that has provided me the longest lasting friendships and opportunities. Mandy and I are both "Sp.ieth girls" and it is amazing how much it really is like a family.

5. Graduate Assistant (August 2002-May 2003) -
This is probably the job I did the least work for! When I went back to school to obtain my MA I was offered a GA position in the Political Science Department. I was thrilled because it meant I would still have money coming in every month without having to drive home absolutely every weekend (I still did usually... but that is a different story) to work at Spi.eth's. I worked for two professors. Dr. A had me write a paper and then we obtained grants to send me to Las Vegas to present it. Dr. E had me work on the department website. It was total cake!

6. Miss Illi.nois Coun.ty Fa.ir (January 2003-January 2004) -
In January of 2003, I received a new job -- queen. During the summer of 2003 I traveled about 12,000 miles around the state of Illinois representing coun.ty fa.irs and agric.ulture. It was a fun job and I wish I would have taken the time to enjoy it more. During my reign I was also finishing my MA, starting my first teaching job, planning my wedding, and buying and remodeling my first home. Needless to say, I was slightly stressed and if I had to go back I would take the time to slow down and enjoy this job a bit more.

7. High School Teacher (August 2003-Present) -
I started my first teaching job in August of 2003. The first day of school was the day after I returned home from the Sta.te Fa.ir for job #6 and about half of my weekends during the first half of the year were taken by job #6. Can you say, STRESS?? My first year was tough because of all of the crazy life changes I was experiencing and when Mandy was hired as a sub in January of my second year teaching, I was thrilled. While I tend to complain a lot (especially to Mandy) overall, there are many things I like about my job. I don't like all the people... but teaching, it is a good fit for me.

There you have it -- my curriculum vitae! (Obviously not even close!) My jobs really have always overlapped. I seriously have not been without a job since 12 -- and usually I had more than one at once -- like now. :) At most points in my life it has felt like I've had about a million jobs -- but these are only the ones that pay.

I wonder, can I put "Mom" on my resume? :)

"Babies are such a nice way to start people." - Don Herold

An Opportunity

Yesterday's post was a bit strange...

That wasn't just me fighting with my inner self to not argue with students. That was actually one of the activities I had to complete as part of my faculty training with an online university.

I love teaching but given our current "unknown" state of affairs I need a few backup plans. I'm not willing to go cold turkey in the job world. That just isn't who I am. I have not been unemployed since I was 12 years old...

Sure, staying home full-time with Bo sounds wonderful, but for numerous reasons it just doesn't fit with who I am. My mom is a retired teacher and loves spending time with him - for us, it is the perfect situation. And while I do want job(s) that are more flexible and definitely kid friendly (part of the reason I went into teaching in the first place) I just can't imagine not having a career. And if Mike is transferred in October then I would be jobless... and well, that just seems like more than I could take.

Needless to say, after quite a bit of research, I began applying for online teaching opportunities. I had a bite and went through a screening process as well as an email and phone interview. I'm currently in training and by the end of summer I will be making nearly what I make now by working part-time, from my laptop, during my own hours, at home.

I am excited about the opportunity. I have a good feeling about it and it seems like it will be a great fit for me. In an ideal world, I would teach online and teach at a community college -- but even if I have to wait a year or two for the community college job (I've applied at two in the region where we plan to move) this opportunity will provide flexibility without making me feel like I'm giving up teaching and my career goals. The extra cash won't hurt anything either. I'd love to be able to save the extra income that I make from working online -- retirement, Bo's college fund, etc.

Lately, most of my time that I've been able to be online (which is substantially less than it use to be pre-Bo) I've spent working on my faculty profile and faculty training labs. Teaching online is definitely going to take some of the "fun" and "relaxation" out of my computer time. But I'm hopeful that this is one of the opportunities I've been waiting for...

Can you guess what I've been up to?

Here's your hint...

1. Sue: Your paper is riddled with spelling mistakes and fragments. Your work is simply not acceptable college work.

The writer should not use red. It is more difficult to read and is harsh. The response does not give any constructive criticism or attempt to help Sue to correct her mistakes.

A more appropriate response would be:

Sue,

While evaluating your paper I found many spelling errors and sentence fragments. I have underlined these issues in your first three paragraphs. Please correct the paper and resubmit it to me. If you have any questions, please let me know.

Thank You,
Jamie

2. Mr. Smith

I am very upset that your assignment is late again!!! I am very clear in my syllabus regarding late submission. PLEASE READ IT AGAIN!.

The instructor does not provide comments that offer solutions to fix the problem. The writer also does not use proper punctuation and should not use all capital letters. All capital letters, in an online environment, denotes yelling.

A more appropriate response would be:

Mr. Smith,

I did not receive your assignment from yesterday. Did you have problems with the submission? Please contact me if you have questions or problems.

The syllabus has very strict rules regarding late submission. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Thank you,
Jamie

3. Student,
You are STILL having problems with grammar and spelling in your postings. Please review my previous comments and make the necessary corrections to your assignment in order to receive credit for your work.

It is important to address the "Student" by their proper name. The capitalization of the word "still" denotes yelling and is not appropriate in this type of a forum.

A more appropriate response would be:

Joe,

You seem to really be struggling with grammar and spelling. It is important to proofread your post several times before submission. If you spend a few more minutes re-reading your posts I feel that there will be fewer errors.

In order to receive credit for your previous submissions you will need to re-write them with the problems corrected. If you have any questions please let me know.

Thank you,
Jamie

4. HEATHER!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? HAVEN'T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING THAT THE CLASS HAS BEEN WORKING ON THIS WEEK? IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PASS THE CLASS!

Once again, writing using all capitals denotes yelling. This is not an appropriate response. The tone is too harsh and threats do not motivate students.

A more appropriate response would be:

Heather,

Is everything okay? I have noticed that you have not been responding appropriately to many of the posts this week. It is very important that you stay on task and put forth your best effort. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.

Thank you,
Jamie

This is an example of what I've been spending all of my "free" time working on this week. Cross your fingers that I'll have time for a real post soon.

It's the little things...

Recently, I was reading a blog (I wish I could remember which one!! If it's you, please comment and I'll give you credit!!) and the author said "even though I didn't have my camera, doesn't mean it didn't happen."

I had to nod my head in agreement at this statement. For many of the times in my life that I really consider to be important, the camera wasn't there -- or there was no one to take a photograph -- or it just wasn't appropriate or necessary.

Mike and I love to travel and when we are on vacation we take pictures. Pictures of us together in front of random tourist attractions. Posed pictures of each other in various parts of the world. Lots of pictures of the two of us munching on delicious food. But when I look at my life, sure those vacations were fun, and I love the pictures, but they aren't the parts of my life that I want to remember the most.

The parts of my life that are the most special are also the most mundane. It's the little things. Like Sunday mornings together with the newspaper and a yummy breakfast. It's the way Mike and I can clean up after dinner in record time. Or the way Mike looks after working in the yard all day -- dirty, exhausted, but so accomplished and proud of himself.

It's moments like today -- where in the middle of working ourselves to death we decided to take a lunch break. And the way he held my hand across the table, while we were both dirty and grubby, at a local dive. An unexpected moment during a discussion about which direction we are taking at this fork in the path that will redefine our life. It seems like such a little thing, but these are the moments I want to remember.

Cuppa Java *Updated*

Recently, I was contacted by Senseo and asked to review their product. I have to admit, I was really excited. A single-cup coffee maker? That sounds like a dream come true for me! Not to mention I received a FREE Senseo and 10 coffee pods. I love free stuff!

While I love coffee it isn't something I drink regularly -- maybe one cup every two or three weeks, if that. Usually, it is just because I'm not willing to haul the coffeepot out to make one cup since Mike doesn't drink coffee. Occasionally, I'll treat myself to Starbucks and I think it tastes even more wonderful because it is such a rarity for me (the closest Starbucks is about an hour from where we live).

Needless to say, the thought of being able to make myself a single "cuppa java" whenever the mood strikes with little mess and no-waste seemed like a great idea. But when the box came, Mike and I spent an entire nap time fighting with this invention. The phrases "what a POS!" "No wonder it was free," "who in their right mind would pay $99 for this thing???!!!" were uttered numerous times during our nap time adventure with the Senseo.

The issue was that the top did not want to go down and latch to press the water through the coffee. We had water all over the kitchen. Mike battled the machine to and eventually won the latch war. After wasting about 4 coffee pods, I finally had my 4 oz. of coffee. I'm not a black coffee drinker so after I added a shot of vanilla syrup and skim milk, it was finally ready. And I have to admit, it was good, but I was frustrated.

Mike was ready to throw the machine in the trash but I protested. Yesterday morning, Mom offered to take Bo early to enable me a day to take a shower in peace and head to school early. I dropped Bo off while I was still in my pjs and headed home to shower. I'm one of those weirdos who refuses to immediately blow-dry my hair (which of course makes the whole process of showering and becoming presentable that much longer!) so while I was waiting for my hair to air dry a bit I figured I'd try the Senseo again.

This time, it worked perfectly. I was able to put the pod in and latch it without super-human strength. It produced a beautiful 4 oz and I was able to sit in my chair for an entire 10 minutes and enjoy the coffee and read a few pages in my current "fun" book (that I've been trying to find time to read for weeks) in absolute quiet. Ahh... the life.

Therefore, even though my initial impression of the Senseo was not favorable and I have no idea what the latch problem was, it seems to have fixed itself (or the user became smarter -- who knows?) and it really does make the perfect amount of coffee for someone like me. I think we'll be keeping it -- at least until it won't latch again. And Senseo will reap the rewards of offering me a free machine as I invest in their coffee pods...

*Updated to add*

A few comments and several emails asking me how I signed up to do product reviews. Well, I didn't, really. Back in 2006 I signed up for Pay-Per-Post but I never did anything with it. I occassionally post about products that I like or have found useful. Companies must Google for blogs that do this. Randomly I will receive an email asking me if I would be interested in reviewing a product -- strange, but a nice benefit to the blog. I did recently sign up for Mothertalk and I should completing my first book review for them soon. If you know of any way to "sign-up" to do reviews, let me know and if I find anything I'll post about it here. I think it is fun!

Love the One You're With

Many of my blog friends are jumping back on the IVF bandwagon to try for their second child. The thought of when we are going to try for another child has been in the back of my mind -- well, pretty much forever.

There are days when I can't even imagine another child. I can't imagine taking care of two (or three). I can't imagine loving another as much as I love Bo. And then there are those moments when I can't imagine not having another.

I know we will try again -- we have two full IVF cycles (and any FETs that may result) covered by our current insurance. (And if we move, I'll work wherever I have to so that we have IVF coverage if Mike's area change disrupts our current coverage). But the real question is when will we try again? And how far are we willing to go to give Bo a sibling?

Originally, I thought that I would start the IVF process again in May. It would be nice to have children close together and who knows how long it will take for us to get pregnant again. I feel confident that we can get pregnant again -- IVF made Bo -- but it's just a matter of how much I'm willing to endure - emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Heaven knows I was willing to do everything in my power to make Bo. And I do not regret any of it. He is totally and completely worth it. Every last bit of making him -- from the multiple shots to the swollen feet at the end of my pregnancy... But with attempts at another child I won't be able to let myself slip into the emotional black hole that I dug for myself while trying to conceive Bo. Physically, Bo is still going to be held, even when my ovaries are bulging after a horrific retrieval. I have to be the best that I can be for Bo -- no matter what is going on with trying to conceive a sibling. I don't know if I can endure 5 more IVF cycles (if it takes that many) and be the Mom I want to be at the same time...

Will secondary infertility be totally different from primary infertility? Will I be able to maintain my friendships with people who have multiple children? Will the desire to have another child posses me like the desire to have Bo did? Will I consider it worth it in the end if it does take over my life but I ultimately end up with another? There are so many questions...

While we were putting Bo to bed the other night, Mike and I were talking about what the future will hold for us. So many aspects of our lives are currently in this odd holding pattern -- and while we both are happier than we have ever been -- there is this shadow of uncertainty over us as far as what the future will hold...

I was telling Mike about my concerns regarding trying again and the one part of the conversation that really stuck with me is that he said "love the one you're with." And this is so true. I may never have the chance to have another child. I need to love the one I have and do everything I can to be the best Mom I can be to him. I can't just sit back and expect another child to fall into my lap (natural conception is impossible for us -- I do not have any fallopian tubes) I also can't waste this precious time in Bo's life worrying about a person who does not exist.

Letting go and backing down from my horridly anal retentive, perfectionist, type A, planner personality is hard. Really hard. I want to know what is going to happen. I want to know when we will try again. I want to know if when we try again, if it will work. But there is no way to know these things. I have to have faith that what is meant to be, will be. In the long run, it will work out for the best. It has so far, hasn't it?