Foot Fetish

The blog is going to be quiet for a few days. While I'm gone, let me encourage you to go shoe shopping! (And vote in the new poll in the left sidebar.)

First, let me say that I do not have a lot of shoes. Maybe 25 pairs - total - including dress shoes. I am the type where I would rather have a few pairs of really nice shoes than a million random pairs. (Go count your shoes. How many pairs do you have? See, I think 25 is very reasonable. Especially considering a lot of them are many years old and still in good condition.)



1. Personalized Nikes - These are currently my favorite shoes! I actually heard about this site from one of my yearbook girls. On the site you are able to custom design the shoe and have your name put on the back. I drooled over them for about a month before I finally purchased them - they are my birthday present to myself! I designed them with school colors and they match my stroller too. They've been perfect for our morning walks. We've actually been walking EVERY morning since the end of school. These shoes are the ultimate motivator! You can definitely see the Tom-Boy in me. My top shoes are tennis shoes... meh!

2. Fit Flops - These are actually my second favorite pair of shoes right now. Mandy convinced me to buy them and I find them very comfortable. I don't really think I'm getting any fitness benefits, but who I am to squash their advertising. They are my go-to shoe when I'm running out the door to run errands. I also wear them when I'm working in the kitchen since it's just too hot for my slippers right now.

3. Acorn Pillowwalk Slippers - Speaking of slippers -- these are my kitchen shoes in the winter. We have ceramic tile in our kitchen which is just too hard to be barefoot on for long periods of time. Needless to say, I always try to wear something when I'm cooking. These are soooo comfortable. A bit pricey for slippers, but totally worth it. I'm on my second pair!

4. Merrells - My teaching shoe of choice has to be Merrells. I have several styles of sandals and dress shoes, a pair of hiking shoes, and even a sneaker pair. They are very comfortable for walking or when you're on your feet all day. Certain friends tease me about my old lady shoes but they are so comfortable, I don't care! I bought my first pair of Merrells (black sandals) on our honeymoon in Hawaii when my Birkenstocks were killing my feet from all the walking. Birki's use to be my shoe of choice but after that it became Merrell's. (Although I will be sporting my flag Birki's on my birthday -- I think they are 10 years old now. Wow. I'm old. Even my shoes are old...)

I do have some heels and dressy shoes to go with various dresses and outfits but it is rare that I wear them. My queenly days rid me of any desire to wear heels and I definitely don't think I need heels to look nice or have fun. I'm happy being short and I'm happy in my comfortable shoes. :)

This weekend, indulge yourself. Buy a new pair of shoes!

A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime

I wrote multiple letters before deciding to include one of them with my yearbook girls senior award. I chose a more light-hearted note with many of the same meanings, just presented in a different way to include with their award checks.

But now, it's really good-bye. The yearbook is complete and we are all moving on. My new staff has already started developing next years book. In honor of that, here is a letter that I never gave to my girls. It says what I've wanted to say all along...

******
To My Seniors,

We have all heard the saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

This philosophy perfectly summarizes my experiences with yearbook.

I would never have filled out the application to be in yearbook if I hadn’t been friends with a girl named Elizabeth my sophomore year of high school. She was totally different from me... But now I realize that her place in my life was to make me interested in yearbook. When I was accepted to the staff I didn’t realize at the time what a long-lasting impact it would have on my life. Elizabeth came into my life for a reason.

Mrs. Fra.zier came into my life for a season. Since my mom (and my dad)was a teacher one would think that being a teacher was the obvious career choice for me. But it wasn’t. Mrs. Fra.zier impacted my life in a different way. She made me want to be a teacher. More importantly, she made me want to be a yearbook adviser. And I can’t really explain how. Or why. But she did.

As you know, Miss McK.ni.ght and I have been joined together through yearbook for what I hope is a lifetime. Miss McKn.ight and I both declared that we would be teachers while we were students in room 222. And we’ve fulfilled that goal.

Only time will tell how all of you are joined together. I hope that many of you are friends for years to come. I hope that when something important happens in your life you will think of your yearbook memories and send me an email.

No matter how you feel – if I came into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime – I feel that you are in my life for a lifetime.

You have changed my life.

What is the point of all of this? I want you to remember that the choices you make now do have an impact on your future. I want you to pick a career that is going to bring you fulfillment and joy. I want you to find your passion.

I feel that I have fulfilled my dream of being a yearbook adviser with my three phenomenal years working with all of you. I can’t imagine loving another staff the way I love you. I can’t imagine feeling closer to another group. And I can’t imagine that I will ever feel more fulfilled by a "job".

Even if I never have another yearbook staff, I know that I have achieved one my life goals. I am a teacher. I was able to impact at least a few lives (I hope!). And I learned a type of love that I did not know was possible.

Thank you for all of your hard work. Thank you for spending so much of the last three years devoted to the yearbook. Thank you for allowing me into your life.

Love Always, W.ei.tl

Wordless Wednesday: Funny

Shh! I know there are words on the layout. Ignore those and pretend it's wordless! ;)

More Wordless Wednesday here.

Tuesdays With Dorie: Blueberry Cobbler

This week's Tuesday's with Dorie recipe was Mixed Berry Cobbler from pages 416-417 of Baking: From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan. This week's recipe was chosen by Beth of Our Sweet Life.

I decided to tweak the recipe this week. Instead of mixed berry, I decided to make plain blueberry. I also made individual mini-cobblers instead of one big cobbler. It worked out well!!

The reason I wanted to make plain blueberry instead of mixed berry is that several years ago, Mike and I went out to dinner Mill Race Inn and he had his first cobbler. Mike has texture issues with food so he wasn't sure if it was something he would like -- but he loved it!! He says that he's never found a cobbler as good as that one so I thought I would try to replicate it. While this cobbler was good it didn't receive the rave reviews like the first
one...

I started off by putting all of the dry ingredients for the dough into a large mixing bowl. Then I chopped up the butter.

Just like Dorie said, I used my fingers to mix the butter into the dry ingredients. It was actually kinda fun.
Bo thought it was pretty fun too. Mike and I were both in the kitchen cooking. Mike was baking cookies and took some of the pictures for this post (special thanks to my guest photographer!). Bo sat in his highchair and was entertained by our antics. At least he finds us amusing...
After a cute Bo break, I added the cream to form the dough and mixed it with a fork.
I then rolled out the dough. I used a biscuit cutter to cut circles for the top of all eight of my mini-cobblers.
Then I mixed up the fruit mixture. These are my berries coated with sugar, lemon zest, and cornstarch.

I spooned the berries into ramekins. There were just enough to make the 8 servings.
Then I topped each with a circle of the cobbler dough.
I cut crosses in the top of each but they didn't really need them. The sides gave them plenty of room to breathe and vent.
Then I popped the tray in the oven.
I baked them for only 50 minutes instead of the longer time for the full cobbler. When they came out they were warm and bubbly.

We had them for supper on Sunday evening. We fixed a nice dinner and invited my mom over to eat. We ate out on the porch -- one of my favorite parts of nice weather!

When we were ready for dessert I had to go in to get the ice cream. I enjoy my cobbler warm with vanilla ice cream on top.
Here I am, scooping up my first bite!
And here goes that bite into my waiting mouth.
And then my ramekin was empty.
I think I liked it!

Digital Scrapbooking

It's hard to see but I actually left Bo's eyes blue in the photograph.

I received numerous comments and emails regarding the digital layouts that I posted so I thought I would share a little more about this new hobby of mine.

One of my friends started digital scrapbooking last summer and has gone gung-ho with it. She even began her own business, so if you don't want to learn to scrapbook yourself you can always pay her to do it for you!

I originally wanted to start digital scrapbooking last summer but I had my wedding album to finish which was a handmade scrapbook. I finally finished it towards the end of the summer (3.5 years after the wedding... but who's counting...) and by then school started and I just never had time to devote to digital.

Since Bo was born I've been well... busy. I've taken tons of pictures but then the question becomes, what do I want to do with them? Finally, at the advice of Skygirl, I signed up for a digital scrapbooking class online.

I've really enjoyed the class and because it is an actual class it forces me to make time to devote to it. Needless to say, Bo's scrapbook is started, which is farther than I was a month ago. I'm using Photoshop Elements 6.0 (my new computer came with it). We use Photoshop CS2 at school (for the yearbook) and I love it but we have Macs at school and I'm too cheap to buy the full version for my PC at home. Elements works well and I can do everything I need to do.

The page above is one that is completed in the first digital scrapbooking class offered by Jessica Sprague - Up and Running with Photoshop. I don't think the next beginners class is until fall but on the site you can sign up to be notified about when the registration will be. The layouts for the class really aren't my style but it is still fun and has motivated me!

I hope this helps all of you out there who are wanting to start digital scrapbooking!

The Little Things

Our original weekend plans were postponed until next weekend so Mike and I were left with three full days at home to fill with whatever our hearts desired.

We often say to each other that it is a good thing that we found each other -- no one else would want us - and I think our strange version of weekend fun definitely proves that point!

We didn't do anything earth shattering -- cooking, cleaning, we went for walks every day (granted, the Saturday walk was cut short by a swimming trip... but still), etc. We played with Bo. We changed diapers. We went grocery shopping. This afternoon we held our own bake-off in the kitchen by making enough food to feed a small army. We read the paper. We worked in the yard. We picked raspberries. We drove around the lake at drooled at houses. We ate lunch in the car. We staged a photo shoot with Bo so I could resign my blog header (BTW: What do you think of the new header and color scheme???) It was just a typical weekend at home for us.

What never fails to surprise me about these normal weekends is how much fun Mike and I are able to have just being together. We don't have to be doing something "special" or going somewhere. As long as we are together, we are happy. We manage to laugh even through the monotonous duties each day and find humor in the most unexpected places.

As we were walking this morning, we decided to go to my mom's house to pick up some leftover ham she was saving for us. Mike said, "At least we're walking with a porpoise." (Yes, porpoise, like the animal - instead of purpose...) That joke went on for at least 5 blocks. While no one else would find that amusing, the two of laughed for quite awhile. (See, I told you no one else would marry either of us...)

I guess the weekend just confirmed for me, yet again, that sometimes it really is the little things that matter most.

Bo's First Swim

These two pages of Bo's future scrapbook showcase the highlight of our day.

The journaling on the second page reads:

This Saturday afternoon we ended up taking you on an impromptu trip to the pool. We started out going for a walk and about halfway down Taylor Drive we decided it was just too hot. Mommy made the comment, “We need a pool,” and one thing led to another. Before we knew it the three of us were enjoying our first family trip to the Musgrove Aquatic Center.

You were scared of the water at first and even fussed a little when Daddy first tried to dip your toes but before long you were comfortable and splashing. We didn’t stay long because we were afraid of hurting your tender skin - even though you were slathered up with SPF 50.

We can’t wait to take you to the pool again...

Thinkers

1. When do you sense being most alive? Why?

When I am with Bo. It still seems so amazing to me that I carried this little boy in my body for 9 months. He is a part of me. I love seeing him change and grow each day. I love his curiosity about the world. I feel like by having him I am able to relive all of those special milestones that childhood brings.

2. What do you want your gravestone to read? Why?

I don't want a gravestone. I want to be cremated. To the important people in my life, I will be remembered. A gravestone isn't necessary to keep those memories alive.

3. What person has influenced your life the most? Why?


Grandpa, followed closely by my mom. They both raised me to be the person that I am today. While it wasn't traditional, I wouldn't change a thing.

4. Choose a word that best describes your life up to this moment? Why?

Determined. I never allow anything to stand in the way of my ultimate goals and dreams. If I am told I can't do something, I become that much more determined to find a way to do it. This has applied to numerous aspects of my life -- my grades, my pageant experience, teaching, infertility... I find a way to make my dreams come true - it may be a different path than I had originally intended, but I do make it happen.

5. The best advice I ever received was…

Don't pay interest. :) From Grandpa, of course.

6. In one word, describe your closest friends and explain why that word best describes them as a whole?

Tolerant. My closest friends have been with me through many crazy times in my life. Even when the road became bumpy, they've hung on.

7. What real person, dead or alive, do you wish you could be more like? Why?


There is no one person that I would like to be more like. Many people in my life exhibit traits that I wish I could possess but overall I'm pretty satisified just being me.

8. If you could look into the future to find out one thing, what would you want to know?

I would love to know how many children I will have. If I could peek into the future and see where Mike and I are 30 years from now -- just for a moment - I think that would provide me with the direction I need to know what I am ultimately working towards.

9. If you could hang a motto in every home, what would it say?

Everything happens for a reason. Because it does.

10. What was your proudest moment?

I'll give you a hint -- it happened 7 months ago, today. ;)

Wordless Wednesday: Bath

More Wordless Wednesday here.

The Pennsylvania Debate

I am in need of some advice. After reading this post, please vote in the poll that is under Bo's picture in the left sidebar and/or leave me a comment (email is great too for those of you who don't like your comments to go public :)). Thank you!!

I am suppose to be attending a wedding in Pennsylvania over the 4th of July. I was friends with the girl in high school (we were on the yearbook staff together) and we worked together at a local photography studio during my college years. We don't talk a lot but she did attend my wedding and several other significant events in my life. (None of which she had to travel more than 2-3 hours for).

Mandy is a bridesmaid in the wedding. The original plan was that Bo and I would drive with Mandy and our photographer friends to the wedding. The drive is approximately 12 hours and we would complete the drive in one day.

When I told my parents and in-laws about this arrangement they spazzed out. My MIL even plotted a surprise birthday party for me thinking that if Mandy knew about that she wouldn't want me to go with her. On our family vacation I was bombarded with questions and comments from all three grandparents. "What is the best thing for Bo?" "How can you expect him to ride 12 hours in a car?" I won't go into all of it here, but pretty much they made me feel like if I take Bo I will be the worst mother on the planet.

On the other hand, when I talk to Mandy about it, she is also upset. She does not want to go alone, which I totally understand. At the same time, I don't think she really understands my "mommy" position. Mandy does have two little sisters (that she is great with!) but her mom did not breastfeed and went back to work two weeks after having them. It's just a different circumstance but the fact is I don't think she understands about 90% of the decisions I am making right now.

To make a very long story short, the way I see it I have three options:
1) Bo and I both go ahead and go to Pennsylvania. This will upset my mom and the in-laws and Bo will have to ride in the car for 12 hours.
2) I go and leave Bo at home. The in-laws have volunteered to come down that weekend to help out. Mike, my mom, and both of Mike's parents would be here to take care of Bo while I go to PA for 4 days. This seems like a good option but I'm worried about my milk supply. I will have to pump exclusively for 4 days and I am afraid of losing some of my supply. I am not sure if it is worth the risk of giving up breastfeeding to go to a wedding for 4 days.
3) Both Bo and I stay home.

The in-laws have mentioned that maybe I could fly out for a shorter period of time. But I'm not sure I want to spend the money to do that and since Mandy will not fly with me it still sends her on a long car ride without a comrade.

I know that I am probably totally over thinking all of this but I really am concerned about what to do. No matter what option I choose I am going to upset multiple people.

** I should probably also mention that my birthday is on the 4th. If I go, I won't be home for my birthday. This bothers my Mom but she would probably be able to get over it. :)

I want to have my cake...

and eat it too.

Having a child shifts priorities in ways that one doesn't even realize that priorities can be shifted. I've been struggling with figuring out what direction to head with my life. It's an odd balance for me because I truly I want the best of both worlds -- I want to be a wonderful role model for my kids -- I want to be an independent, working mom but I still want to have a healthy dinner on the table, bake cookies and cupcakes for the school bake sale, and have kids in my house at all hours of the day.

I'm realistic. I can't have it all. Some things will have to give (probably sleep...). But I'm definitely going to try...

Not long ago, I pondered where I fit into the whole SAHM, WAHM, and WOHM debate. Several of you chimed in via the comments and email and helped me to piece together my situation.

Since Bo was born there has been some talk of quitting my job at the high school and becoming a WAHM (teaching online). This option would allow us the flexibility to move at a moments notice if a transfer comes through for Mike. But the more I thought about it, and the more we talked about it, I realized that isn't the right option for me. (Not working at all has never been an option for me -- it just isn't who I am... Maybe if I end up with 3 or 4 kids (ha!))

After much thought and many meetings, next year (and for as long as I'd like), I will be working part-time at the high school. I will be there about 4 hours per day and teach one block of yearbook, one block of US History, and have half a prep. I will be paid 2/3rds of my salary while retaining my seniority and tenure status. If by some miracle we decide to stay here, I will be able to go back to full-time once Bo (and/or any future children) are in school.

Part of me feels like I need to defend my decision. Especially because I could stay home and spend all of my time with Bo. But for me, that doesn't feel like the right decision. Part of the reason I became a teacher is because it fits so well with motherhood. If I drop my career cold I will have a very difficult time re-entering the field 5 years from now. I already have too much education and too much experience which renders me as a costly new hire for many districts. When the time comes to move, most likely I will be forced to move on to community college teaching as finding a high school that is willing to pay me will be difficult.

I also feel like I need to work because I was raised to take care of myself. Heaven help me, but what if something happens to Mike? I need to be able to support myself and Bo. Sure, Mike has great life insurance, but that won't last forever. And heaven help me even more if he would get a wild hair and decide to leave me. While rationally I don't really see that happening, I know far to many women who felt the same way and had their entire lives fall to pieces (both emotionally and financially). I love Mike and I want to be with him forever, but I don't want to be dependent on him. For my own sanity and peace of mind, I need to be a financial contributor to our household.

Long term, even if I was able to exit the workforce for 5 years and come back without a hitch, those 5 years would greatly impact my retirement. As it now stands Mike and I will both have significant pensions. I want to be able to retire when he does and have enough money (after paying for college education(s)) to really enjoy life. Taking time off now will hinder that goal.

I also feel that I have the perfect child care situation with my mom as Bo's caregiver while I am at work. I'm not worried at all about her taking care of him because I know she loves him just as much as I do. I can honestly say that I've never had any qualms at all about leaving him there.

None of these things are a major deterrent to me staying home. If I really wanted to stay home, I could. And I would. But, I guess when you get down to the heart of the matter -- I just don't want to stay home. In a way that makes me feel like a bad mother. Shouldn't I want to spend every waking minute with this little boy that I worked so hard to create? As selfish as it sounds, the answer is no. I don't want to be with him all of the time. I've already found that I appreciate my time with him more and really feel like a better mother when I do have a few hours at work each day.

Also, being raised by a working mom I hold too many working mom philosophies dear -- I want him to be independent. I want him to value work and have a good work ethic. I want him to have an amazing relationship with his grandma. I want him to know that while he is everything I have ever wanted, the rest of the world didn't stop when he was born. I want him to know that some of the money that is used to buy his clothes, toys, vacations, and college came from his mom's paying job. I don't want to wrap my life so completely in his that when he leaves for college I have no idea who I am.

(Disclaimer: To the SAHM's I know -- I'm not saying you don't or can't do this. This is just how I feel about my own personal situation.)

I guess the only real bad part is that as a working mom, I'll still have to do all of those things that SAHM's do. I'll still be cooking dinner, doing laundry, unloading the dishwasher, playing with Bo and eventually helping with homework -- I'll just have to be more efficient and do it in less time. Would staying at home lower my stress level? Yes, probably. But will staying at home allow me to have the life I want for both myself and my family? Probably not.

Will it be hard? Yes. I have no doubt about that. But can it be done? Yes. Yes, it can.

Mike's 1st Father's Day

Mike and Bo read the Tribune together this morning.

While today is official Mike's 1st Father's Day, we've actually been celebrating it for many years -- since we were married to be exact. The first few years I always bought him a card from the cats. Silly, yes, but funny too.

Then, two years ago on Father's Day was my first IVF transfer (and the day I named the blog Sticky Feet.) I so hoped that it was a sign that we would be pregnant that I bought Mike a card for an expecting father. Last year, I really was expecting so he received another one of those cards...

But this morning, he had two cards to open. One from Bo thanking him for being a great Daddy. And one from me, thanking him for being a wonderful Father and husband. There are moments where I still can't believe we are finally parents...

The story of how Mike and I ended up together is long and complex (I'll save it for another day) but we were friends before we began dating. The second time we went out to dinner together, as friends, was the first time we discussed children. I can still remember being there like it was yesterday... I was wearing a yellow shirt with a tiger on the front. Mike was wearing a plaid short-sleeved button down shirt. We sat across from each other in a booth at the El Rancherito in Charleston and at the booth next to us was a couple with two small children.

I can still remember watching the two little ones and looking at Mike. I'm not sure who asked who but one of us asked the other how many children we would like to have. My response was 2 -- as was Mike's at the time. Since then he's gone back and forth -- anywhere from 1 to 3, but I've always held pretty steady at 2.

It was after that night that we both admitted that we "liked" each other -- you know that young "like" where "like" means that we wanted to be more than friends. It wasn't long after that when a true relationship began to form. Some of my friends will say that there is no way that you "just know" that you're going to marry someone. But I have to admit, I knew that night...

When I look back over the years I still can't believe that we've ended up here. That we are together despite numerous obstacles that stood in our way. That we have a son. It is amazing the twists and turns that life takes to allow you to end up with the life you are meant to have...

As I watched Mike on the floor with Bo this morning I felt an overwhelming sense that everything is right with the world. I have truly been blessed. Mike is not only a wonderful friend and husband to me, but also a phenomenal father.

Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy on earth!!

Hobbies

Just a year and a half ago I remember writing a post that was a desperate plea for someone to help me find a hobby. I tried knitting. I thought about running. I read a lot. But nothing really clicked. Fighting infertility was my hobby of choice.

Why is it that now that I have less time I have more hobbies than I know what to do with? Cooking, baking, blogging, photography, reading, and now... digital scrapbooking.

The page above is my first digital creation that I'm halfway happy with. I'm still learning but it seems like it is going to be a lot of fun. I want to make Bo a book of his first year for Christmas. We will see if I find the time to do that!

Heaven help me.

Our First Family Trip

Mike and Jamie eat Bo's toes in front of the house at Eagle Ridge.

Bo's first trip was filled with firsts. We spent a lot of time with family and simply enjoyed being together.

We left last Thursday for Galena and ended up driving most of the day as we wanted to stop quite a bit to make sure Bo was comfortable. We stopped by Starved Rock for lunch and then continued the trek north to Eagle Ridge Resort and Spa. We rented a 3 bedroom house and it was perfect. It had a full kitchen, two family rooms, a large dining room, each bedroom had it's own bathroom, and there was a washer and dryer. (A must have for any trip with a little one!) It really was perfect. The views were beautiful and the house was cabin-esque and secluded enough to make it really feel like a getaway.

My mom went with us and Mike's parents came over for the weekend. It was definitely our turn to invite the parents on a trip after everything they have done for us over the years! Hence the need for the 3 bedrooms.

On Friday, Mike, Mom, Bo and I went to downtown Galena and enjoyed the eclectic shopping. We didn't buy much but we enjoyed looking and Bo took a nap in his stroller.

On Friday evening, my mom was nice enough to stay back at the house with Bo so Mike and I could go out to dinner by ourselves. We went back to downtown Galena and I bought an outfit at a cute little boutique before we went for dinner. I had salmon with key lime butter and sweet potato souffle. It was the kind of meal I always dream about while we are watching Top Chef! It was nice to be able to get out on our own for a little bit. We definitely do not do that enough anymore.

On Saturday, Mike's parents came and we went cheese shop hunting in Wisconsin. Mike's dad is a huge fan of cheese! It was an entertaining experience. We had to teach my mom about cheese curds. That evening we cooked dinner at the house and enjoyed being together.

Bo took his first sink bath in the kitchen at Eagle Ridge.

On Sunday morning, we drove through the torrential rain to the Geneva area. I was on the edge of my seat the whole drive. I stayed home with Bo that afternoon so he could nap while everyone else took my mom to show her the grocery store. (I never said we were a normal family... But the grocery store is about a million times nicer than anything we have in Southern Illinois.)

Later that evening Bo went to his second official picnic -- a birthday party for Mike's cousin, Katie. He enjoyed playing on a tablecloth and was even treated to his first trip in the swing.

Bo swung for the first time at Wheeler Park in Geneva where we were celebrating Mike's cousin's 15th birthday.

On Monday, I had to go to the dentist and I had 7 shots of Novocaine. Agh! After that, Mom and I went shopping in Geneva. I found the cutest tee that I had to have!

We didn't do anything earth shattering on our trip. And really, it was more of a trip then a vacation. There really wasn't anything restful about it but it was nice to be with everyone and spend plenty of time with the most important people in our lives.

The trip affirmed that Bo is a really good baby. He did well, and we kept him on schedule as much as possible, but he really is a good little guy.

Bo is enjoying standing more and more. Here he is standing in front of the big bear at Grandpa and Grandma's house with Daddy's help.

It was nice for Bo to be able to spend time with all of his grandparents and with both Mike and I for an extended period of time. It wasn't Hawaii, but it was fun.

Mommy and Bo at Eagle Ridge. How can you not love this little guy?

We have a winner!

The lucky winner is Kristy R. The prize is a bottle of Oktoberfest Wine from Galena Cellars. I really wanted to give away a bottle from Jamie's Wine Studio with the Jamie label but they don't have any Jamie labels yet! :(

Kristy, just send me an email and I'll mail out your prize. :)

More on Galena and our trip tomorrow!

Wordless Wednesday: Galena

More Wordless Wednesday here.

Where's Jamie??

You've probably figured out by now that we are on vacation. I'm giving away a spectacular prize (from our destination) to a randomly selected winner. All you have to do is leave your guess in the comments section and I'll have the number generator select the winner. I'll be home on Wednesday to reveal the destination, prize, and the winner!

I left the cord to upload pictures at home, so I can't provide you with a photo to help with your guess -- but here are a few hints to help you along.

1. It's a tourist destination in Illinois.

2. A president once lived here.

3. There are many eclectic shops.

4. Golfing is like a religion.

5. The views are beautiful.

Wordless Wednesday: Ready for Vacation

More Wordless Wednesday here.

And no, we aren't going to Hawaii. :)

French Chocolate Brownies

Because apparently, I don't think I have enough to do, I decided to join a baking club. (Yes, I'm 26. Yes, I joined an online baking club... Just call me a nerd, it would be easier.)

I joined Tuesdays with Dorie after drooling over the recipes on several of my favorite foodie websites. Last week, my copy of the book arrived and this week was my first chance to make one of Dorie's special recipes.

The first step in making these brownies was to send Mike out for a bottle of dark rum. This is the smallest and cheapest bottle he could find to supply the 1 1/2 tablespoons needed for the recipe. At least it makes a good page holder. :)

I put the raisins in the pan, added the water, and let them cook.
Meanwhile, I took a shortcut and melted the chocolate and butter in the microwave instead of on the stove. It worked just as well.
I beat the egg and sugar together and then added the chocolate mixture. Yummm....
Finally, it was time to add the rum. I added the rum to the raisins and prepared for a big burst of flame.

Unfortunately, all I saw were a few little blue patches in my raisins. After I folded in the dry ingredients, I added the raisins. If I make these brownies again, I'll be leaving the raisins out. There is a weird texture issue with raisins in brownies...
Here are the brownies, ready to go in the oven.
Here they are, fresh out of the oven.
And here is the large brownie, ready to be cut and made into yummy brownie sundaes!

Overall, it was a successful first attempt -- they aren't the prettiest food I've ever made -- or the best (raisins in brownies is just odd to me) but it was a fun experiment. I'm hoping that Tuesdays with Dorie will force me outside of my comfort level a bit and I'll learn a few tricks along the way.

Interested in trying these brownies yourself? The full recipe is below!

French Chocolate Brownies

- makes 16 brownies -Adapted from Baking From My Home to Yours.

Ingredients
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
1/3 cup raisins, dark or golden
1 1/2 tablespoons water
1 1/2 tablespoons dark rum
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons; 6 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature and cut into 12 pieces
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1 cup sugar

Getting ready: Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 300°F.

Line an 8-inch square baking pan with foil, butter the foil, place the pan on a baking sheet, and set aside.

Whisk together the flour, salt and cinnamon, if you're using it.

Put the raisins in a small saucepan with the water, bring to a boil over medium heat and cook until the water almost evaporates. Add the rum, let it warm for about 30 seconds, turn off the heat, stand back and ignite the rum. Allow the flames to die down, and set the raisins aside until needed.

Put the chocolate in a heatproof bowl and set the bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. Slowly and gently melt the chocolate, stirring occasionally. Remove the bowl from the saucepan and add the butter, stirring so that it melts. It's important that the chocolate and butter not get very hot. However, if the butter is not melting, you can put the bowl back over the still-hot water for a minute. If you've got a couple of little bits of unmelted butter, leave them—it's better to have a few bits than to overheat the whole. Set the chocolate aside for the moment.

Working with a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the eggs and sugar until they are thick and pale, about 2 minutes. Lower the mixer speed and pour in the chocolate-butter, mixing only until it is incorporated—you'll have a thick, creamy batter. Add the dry ingredients and mix at low speed for about 30 seconds—the dry ingredients won't be completely incorporated and that's fine. Finish folding in the dry ingredients by hand with a rubber spatula, then fold in the raisins along with any liquid remaining in the pan.

Scrape the batter into the pan and bake 50 to 60 minutes, or until the top is dry and crackled and a knife inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a rack and allow the brownies to cool to warm or room temperature.

Carefully lift the brownies out of the pan, using the foil edges as handles, and transfer to a cutting board. With a long-bladed knife, cut the brownies into 16 squares, each roughly 2 inches on a side, taking care not to cut through the foil.

Serving: The brownies are good just warm or at room temperature; they're even fine cold. I like these with a little something on top or alongside—good go-alongs are whipped crème fraiche or whipped cream, ice cream or chocolate sauce or even all three!

Storing: Wrapped well, these can be kept at room temperature for up to 3 days or frozen for up to 2 months.

I am Charlotte

On Friday night, Mandy, Christina and I headed to Vincennes to watch Sex and the City: The Movie.

In the spring of 2005, Mike and I rented all of the Sex and the City seasons and watched them, back to back. We both enjoyed the show and it was perfect, mind-numbing entertainment after a long day at work. I haven't watched the show since then but it is amazing how quickly I was able to remember and put myself back into the lives of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.

I've always related to Charlotte. We both have dark hair and eyes, anal retentive personalities, perfectionist attitudes, and a strange naivety about the world. (I was nudged on both sides throughout the movie due to the strange similarities -- now if only I was a runner...) Most importantly, Charlotte and I shared infertility.

Mike and I watched the show before we began IVF but after my ectopic but even so, I could always relate to Charlotte - her personality and her longing for a child. I know I shed a few tears when they received the letter from China saying they were going to be adopting a little girl and I'll never forget the episode where Charlotte has to "buck up" after a failed cycle and go to a party for Brady. I've experienced so many of the feelings that the show tried to portray...

** Warning, Spoiler ahead**
Needless to say, I had to make pretend shooting noises at the screen when Charlotte magically becomes pregnant during the Sex and the City movie. WTF??

Yes, I know that it does happen. Some of my best blog buddies have been blessed with surprise pregnancies -- pregnancy after surrogacy, pregnancy after stopping treatments, pregnancy after adoption, a natural pregnancy after infertility treatments to achieve the first. And I am totally thrilled for these women. But I think it is wrong for the world to keep preaching that "if you just adopt" or "if you just relax" you will become pregnant. That isn't always the case and it misinforms many.

Numerous people have said to me, "well now that you have one maybe the next one will be easier," or even better, "leave it in God's hands."

Yes, some people have unexplained infertility. Yes, some people have infertility diagnoses that give them a small chance of becoming pregnant on their own. I am not one of those people. You will never open this blog and be greeted by a surprise pregnancy. It is not possible.

There is NO WAY that I will ever get pregnant without IVF. It is NOT possible. I do not have fallopian tubes. There is no way for the egg to reach my uterus without invasive procedures. It is NOT POSSIBLE.

I know that a lot of people read my blog now that aren't infertile. It's shifted from primarily an infertility blog to a mommy-blog/Jamie's hobbies blog and in a way, I think that is great. I'm reaching a different audience now and not just preaching the choir. Let me give those of you who aren't infertile a little bit of advice... Do not say things like "if you adopt you will become pregnant." Adoption is not a cure for infertility. Do not say "it's in God's hands." God created IVF but I had to pursue the procedure to make a child happen. Do not say, "just relax," under any circumstances.

Exiting soapbox...

Minus that one small part of the movie, I really enjoyed it and despite the infertility faux pas I would still recommend any Sex and the City lovers to see it. It was a fun girl's night out filled with too much food and lots of laughs.

*****
Mandy brought up a good point -- I always thought the show was called Sex IN the City but apparently it was always Sex AND the City. Are Mandy and I the only people on earth who thought this??