Barren Bitches Book Tour: Navigating the Land of IF

I haven't joined one of Mel's book tours in quite some time but this is a book that I am passionate about and I wanted to discuss it and sing its praises as part of the tour.

If you're an infertile (or a friend of an infertile) and you haven't met Mel, you're really missing out. Mel is the true queen of the infertile blogosphere and manages the a home base for all infertile bloggers to come together and support each other at her blog - Stirrup Queens.

Mel spent the last few years writing a book about infertility and compiling first hand accounts and hours of research into Navigating the Land of If: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options. I pre-ordered the book on Amazon and was thrilled to see the result of all of Mel's hard work in my mailbox when it arrived.

It's an amazing book and a comprehensive resource for all infertiles. A big thank you to Mel for all of her hard work, dedication, and love that she shares with the infertile blogosphere daily.

Tour Questions:

Chapters four and five cover the issues of telling others about your IF struggles and handling the comments if you do. What approach (proactive, reactive, evasive, or lying) have you used with your close friends and family? If you have told, have you gotten any surprising reactions, and how have you handled those? If you haven't told, has this omission created any friction as people make assumptions or comments about your lack of pregnancy?

Before I became pregnant with Bo, I was much more secretive about my infertility. It wasn't that I hid it from everyone -- lots of people knew -- but it wasn't a topic that I discussed openly at Wal-Mart. Now it is, and it isn't something I'm embarrassed about in the slightest. I think that sharing my story is one of the positives that has come from my infertility journey and it has been amazing to connect with people I know in real life who are also on the infertility path. It's amazing how many people are traveling down this road and the bonds you can form with each other by being open and honest regarding your journey.

Of course, many people do not always know how to react, even to an open infertile. Lots of people (including friends and family) are not educated regarding infertility and ask questions and make comments that routinely make me cringe. But I try my best to bite my tongue and explain the situation and issues to them. I hope one side effect of all of this is that many of my friends and family members will be more sensitive when dealing with other infertiles and will watch their questions and comments a bit more closely.

If you are a reader of Melissa's blog, did you find the book to be a same or different style and why?

While the book is written in a different style than Mel's blog - I saw many glimpses of Mel's personality through her writing style in the book. Writing a book, by it's very nature, is very different than writing a blog that is consumed in small pieces each day. Mel did a great job of combining her personal flair with specific information and resources for dealing with infertility.

What part of the Land of IF are you currently residing in, & do you think Melissa paints an accurate picture of the situation there?

I am currently residing in the parenting after infertility/pregnant with twins after infertility/completely flabbergasted at the possibility of three children after infertility land of IF. It's definitely a boat that I never thought I would have the opportunity to travel on.

Yes, I do think that Mel paints an accurate picture of parenting after infertility. Parenting isn't the cakewalk I once dreamed it would be but parenting after infertility brings other layers of issues/guilt that I am not sure would be there if I had not experienced infertility.

I credit Mel's blog for helping me find support at every path of my journey -- I can always find someone there who understands. I find new blogs on Mel's site and I am currently seeking out those who have a toddler and twins after infertility (if you know of anyone - please send me a link to their blog!).

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com). You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: Moose by Stephanie Klein.