A Good Daughter

I can honestly say, with all of my being, that I have tried my best to be a good daughter.

Am I perfect? No.

Have I said things that I probably should not have said? Yes.

Could I deal with some situations better? Yes.

Have I tried my absolute best to be a good daughter to my mom? Yes.



There are very few days during my nearly 28 years of life that I have not talked to my mom in some way, shape, or fashion. For the last 28 years I feel confident that she can most likely count on both hands the number of times she was not aware of where I was or what I was doing. I have tried my absolutely best to make her proud and to live my life so that I can be there for her.

For the last year, a typical day, usually included an email to my mom first thing in the morning. I would then see my mom for approximately 15 minutes to a half hour at around 9 am when I dropped Bo off or she picked him up. I typically stayed a half hour when I picked him up at 12:30. Since her stroke, if it is nice outside, we typically saw Mom again about 3:30 or 4 to go for a walk. Then Mom played with Bo at our house while I made dinner for all of us. Mom typically left our house around 6 pm.

On the weekends, if Mike and I go anywhere, we ask Mom to go with us. If we are going out to eat, we ask if she would like to go with us. If we are grilling out, we invite Mom over for dinner. If we aren't doing anything special, we may purchase fast food (Subway since her stroke) and bring it to her house for lunch. It is rare that she does not see us. Granted, I have stopped asking her to visit Mike's parents with us, as she always says no and I became tired of arguing with her about it. We typically try to visit Mike's parents one weekend per month. It is very rare that Mike and I do something of any significance without asking my mom to go with us.

We took Mom on vacation with us last year to Galena and asked her to go with us to Florida. She decided not to go to Florida with us this year, but I did ask her, repeatedly, to go with us. I had hoped she would be with us this weekend and we would stay at the indoor water park and enjoy some fun time with Bo in addition to the stressful job of looking at houses. We've offered to drive her to meet up with her friend Belinda when we go to visit Mike's friend Owen, but she has never taken us up on that offer. We try, repeatedly, to take her places and to help get her out of the house.

One of her main complaints in our recent conversations is that I don't talk to her. I do talk to her -- almost always multiple times per day. Granted, I don't have much new and entertaining to say during those 3 hour breaks (aka work) between conversations. My life is not that exciting and there isn't a lot to discuss besides what Bo has been doing.

Mike has also tried his best to be a good son-in-law. He and his parents have remodeled a great deal of Mom's living room, added a closet, remodeled the bathroom, and added a screened in porch -- just to list a few things. Mike has lived in Olney for the last 6 years for all of us - despite the fact that it is five hours away from all of his family and he has a 2 hour commute each day to work. He tries to help out around my mom's house whenever he can. Granted, if the toilet won't flush, he can't always run over immediately, but he always tries to do his best given the small amount of time he is actually home each day.

We appreciate what Mom does for us. She has watched Bo a few hours per day so I can have some work time during the day and that is appreciated. We have tried to show our appreciation through the different things we have done to help her around her house, through purchasing various items for her and her house, through my preparing dinner nearly every night, and by paying her some money to watch Bo.

Many of you have expressed concern in your comments that this may be related to her recent stroke. I encouraged Mom multiple times in my conversations with her last week to go back to the doctor and I hope she will do this. I have emailed Mom at least once per day since all of this happened on Friday but she has not responded. Mostly, I just update her on what we are doing and ask her to call or email me. I am trying to give her some space but it is difficult for me because this does seem like such an irrational and illogical course of action.

I do feel like I've tried to be a good daughter. I'm not perfect. Not by any means. But I have tried. And I wish with all my being that I knew how to make this better.

I also find myself wishing -- every day -- that Grandpa was alive. There is no way he would let all of this happen.