In My Next Life, I Want to be a Man.

In my next life, I want to be a man...

I want to be a man for all of the basic reasons that one can think of off the top of their head -- no periods, no pregnancy, no labor, no breastfeeding, no makeup, a much more realistic body image/weight, no high-heels, etc.

A mom is naturally the primary "host" for children. We have to be constantly on alert as to what we consume during pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, and breastfeeding - no alcohol, no deli meat, no caffeine - and we have to try to balance everything else in our life while this other being (or two other beings) takes over our body. And we're suppose to smile throughout the entire process.

Then, once the child(ren) is here, women naturally fall into the primary caregiver role. When you have a child(ren) at your breast constantly during those first few weeks of life, it becomes pretty natural to see why Mom is the one who is always with the little ones. And while this aspect does get better as the child(ren) becomes older it is still Mom who seems to take primary responsibility for the child(ren).

I changed my life in countless ways just to get pregnant, throughout pregnancy, and now to be Bo's primary caregiver. And while I am sure Mike would say Bo changed his life, there is no way he can argue that his life has changed nearly as much as mine.

Case in point - I've been trying to orchestrate some type of childcare for my mom's upcoming eye surgery and for an upcoming OB appointment (Mike can't take off work). And I swear - if someone says to me - "I took my kids with me everywhere." I'm going to shoot them. Seriously, you took your 19 month old on a four hour car ride to visit the OB? And did that OB visit include a cervix check and being strapped to a chair for monitoring of your twin fetuses? How did he do with that?

Oh, and you drove your 19 month old an hour and a half away and sat with him (during naptime) in a waiting room for 3 1/2 hours while his Grammie had eye surgery and then drove back home? Did he respond well?

If you've done these things -- then hats off to you (and please send me some tips). Otherwise, no, this is not the same. It isn't like I am asking for a day at a spa. For God's sake the longest I've been away from my child is 36 hours and that in itself felt like a feat. I just don't want to have to listen to him scream while my legs are spread in stirrups and a doctor's arm is up my vagina.

And that is the most basic reason why, in my next life, I want to be a man.