Sensitive Issues

Anonymous comments: I was just wondering if the blog is the right place to discuss such sensitive issues? What about a little respect for your Mom? Being uprooted from one's home is difficult for anyone!

I've been waiting for this question to be presented -- and I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it was an anonymous comment that addressed this issue... (Just so you know, it is okay to leave your name.)

I first want to state that I am being very careful in what I type regarding this situation. I feel that my posts have been vague enough that they don't show the full circumstances of the situation and mostly address my feelings and response to what is happening. I am avoiding many of the harsher details of the circumstances and trying to be as positive as I can given the current situation. There are many, many, many details of this situation that are not on public display out of respect for my mom.

That said, my blog has always served as an outlet for me. At many times in my life, it has been my only outlet. One of the many ways that I work through issues is by writing about them here and receiving feedback and support from my real life and online friends. I do not think it would be fair or accurate to discuss my life right now without discussing the current estrangement from my mom. This situation is at the forefront of my mind, all day, every day, and if I didn't discuss it here -- like I discuss all other aspects of my life, I wouldn't be accurately depicting my life.

I also feel that Mom is probably reading the blog. I know that if I were her it would be very difficult for me to stay away from a site like this. Since she is not allowing me to reach her in other ways, I hope that she is at least reading my words and knows that despite all of this, I still want her to be an integral part of our lives. I want her to know that this is not what I want and that I am very upset about everything that is going on with her. I also know, that at least if Mom is not reading, her friends are, and hopefully they will help her through this time since I am not currently being allowed in.

I have never once said that leaving Olney would be easy for my mom. It won't be easy for me either. And I understand that "being uprooted" from her home will be difficult. That said, at this point, I am not requiring her to be "uprooted." At this point, all I want is for her to talk to me. I want her to agree to see me and my family, at least for regular visits. I do not want her to cut me out of her life completely.

Eventually, do I think she should move with us? Absolutely. But that isn't my choice and at this point, that truly is a non-issue. My ultimate goal right now is simply communication - not moving.