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Jamie Bolander Weitl is pondering why it seems like this house becomes dirty much more quickly than my old house. Didn't I just finish cleaning???
It isn't like this is a new quirk to my personality or I'm just nesting. I've ALWAYS been this way. I remember thoroughly cleaning my room on Friday nights during middle school and I always cleaned my dorm room on Mondays. If my room wasn't clean I knew there was no way that I was going to be able to focus on studying! Everyone said I wouldn't be able to keep a clean house after Bo was born -- but overall, I think I've managed pretty well and I hope it won't be too disasterous after the girls arrive as well.
It isn't that I'm necessarily domestic. Or that I truly care what others think -- as Mom states above, no one is here but us. It's just that I can't relax when things are dirty. When things are cluttered. And yes, I'm sure that is difficult on the people I live with. Luckily, Mike has many of the same hyper-anal quirks (thanks Jim and Sherri!) but there are still some things that he just doesn't seem to see that drive me up the wall!! And I know there are things I overlook that drive him crazy too... He worries more about the garage, the yard, etc. where I worry more about what is inside the house and the mirror that's been propped in our living room for the last two months.
Add together moving, bedrest, and a new house and you can see how I was mentally going crazy for weeks since I wasn't suppose to be doing anything around the house. And I will definitely say that I wish I could be doing more now -- at 36 weeks pregnant with twins my cleaning frenzy goes a lot slower and definitely isn't to the level that I would prefer. Have you tried to do dishes (or even brush your teeth) with an extra two feet in front of your body?? Not fun - or comfortable! But I still try to do as much as I can without totally killing myself.
And it also isn't that I'm not willing to pay someone else to clean - I realize that my time is valuable and that cleaning isn't always the best use of my time for financial reasons or for all of those "memory making" reasons that Mom mentions above. I'm totally not opposed to a housekeeper and realize the value if it means I have more time to spend with my children -- but right now -- with two mortgages and a nanny, it seems like just another added expense - so I clean when Bo sleeps or when Katie is here. I've debated trading the nanny for a housekeeper numerous times over the last few weeks but everyone keeps telling me to wait it out and see what I really need after the girls arrive.
I guess the point of this post is that my cleaning issues aren't about anyone else. It's about me. It's about what I need to feel comfortable. It's my own issue. And honestly, I kinda like it. Sure, it is annoying sometimes -- but in numerous ways my perfectionism has paid off throughout my life. A friend I've made through blogging (hi Merri Ann!) wrote this in an email to me about a week ago: "As far as the worrying ... I had a mother of triplets tell me once that she is convinced that only type A personalities have multiples ... she said it was God's way of showing us how to slow down and learn that not everything can be perfect ... it still makes me laugh when I think about how acurate that statement was for me."
I will say that having Bo has calmed me down a bit in my perfectionism. I much prefer playing cars or reading him a book over mopping the floor and that is why I clean when he sleeps or is otherwise occupied. But I'm sure the girls will do even more to make me realize that it can't all be perfect all the time. I never thought I'd be able to leave toys on the living room floor, but now I don't even see them.
That said, I also think that probably only Type A people have multiples because they are truly the only ones that can handle it! Type A's just deal with life differently than others and in some ways I think some of these traits are needed to deal with the extreme stress and the work that comes from mothering multiples (obviously I don't know this firsthand yet -- just a theory!). Most people hate Kate Gosselin, but can you really imagine trying to take care of eight kids (six of whom are the same age) and a house without having at least some anal retentive traits??
I've also noticed that many infertiles are definitely Type A...
Thoughts?
12 comments:
I'm Type A and so is my husband and he (we) battled infertility and now have twins! And its going great - we have them on a perfect (strict!) schedule and I love it :)
Wow, can I relate. I'm Type A, and have a lot of the same obsessive behaviors, as you do. Even with three little ones running around my house, I still have to have all the toys picked up. I do not follow them around while they are playing all day to clean up the toys, but instead join in on those times. I clean up during nap and after the babies go to bed. I try to get A to help clean up her toys, and have noticed that she is also picking up on my tendencies. If a door is cracked or a drawer not completely shut, she will stop whatever she is doing and close it.
Yes, life will change with 2 more, but you will still be able to have order. The order of how you do things may change, but order will be maintained.
i'm totally with you...the cleaning and organizing isn't about other people coming over (but, if they are, it better be clean!). the other day my husband was supposed to do the dishes and he didn't, so when i came down the next morning and the kitchen - that i CLEANED right before making dinner - was a mess, my whole day started out wrong. kids make it tough, but it's possible to keep it clean. i just lack the motivation most days :(
Excuse me whilst I laugh my way through this ... my wanting things to be clean is for me too (not others)... I think the most proof I can offer is that my cupboards are ALL neat and organized ... even labels are turned in the same direction ... no one sees that but me, mostly. Any outsider looking in my cupboards would surely think I'm crazy.
But, I've had to let go of a lot... A LOT. I've actually found myself having to make decisions about things like; I've been in the kitchen most of the day ... do I do some paperwork, make a phone call (business), etc, etc, or spend some time with the kids because I've been moving them from playdoh, to drawing, to puzzles, to (insert activity here) all day so far and have not actually spent time doing anything with them ... and lets not forget that you are going to have two different sets of skill sets between Bo's age and the girls so you will always have different levels of activities to plan.
I'm just saying ... don't give up the nanny ... embrace her ... and don't get a housekeeper (trust me on this), the way they clean will drive you nuts.
If I was brave enough, I'd take a pic of the playdoh destruction that is going on behind me as I type this ... one is making a "sandwich" of many colors, one is making snakes, and one is seeing how many pieces she can make in to balls and toss on the floor ... I'm off to play.
Keep those babies in ... you are almost at my guess date.
Ah yes my "Miss Clean", I still do not really know what got pitched when you cleaned here. Obviously it was not needed. When you are all situated with the girls, come and trade places, you organize me and I will babysit for you. WHAT WOULD OUR MIKES THINK?
I think all types of people are infertile bu that the Type As are the ones you hear about because we are the ones it drives the craziest because we can't control it.
so well said!!! Yes its for our own sanity that we want to keep everything organized.... i so love to keep my house clean...but with a newborn it gets hard at times but still is doable....
With the twins on their way, I am sure it will be hectic but you will be able to keep the cleaning and organizing thing going!!!!
Jamie, I agree with you. And I LOVE Kate Gosselin! ~Becca L
Type A with twins on the way here! :)
I usually get Type B or Type A/B on quizzes. I obsess about some things, like the quality of my freelance work and the twins' schedule, and I have noticed that having twins has forced me to be more efficient -- but I take things pretty easily in most ways. Certainly that's the case with housework! I cannot believe how much you're doing right now.
I agree with Kristin!
I always thought I was Type A (and in some ways, especially with my photography, I totally still am), but I am definitely changing as I move further into adulthood.
I agree with you about Kate Gosselin. She would have to be a bit anal to keep things organized as she does. She just goes over the top though. I still can't help but watch the show though. :)
Thoughts?
Invest in a Roomba (which can clean hardwood floors) or Kurve (which is small, so you can use it for quick pickups, as opposed to getting out a big vacuum cleaner for some serious vacuum time), or a battery powered sweeper. :)
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