Barren Bitches Book Tour: It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong

Heather Armstrong is the writer of the infamous "Dooce" blog. She has achieved the blogging pinnacle -- making her living (and a rumored six figure salary per month) by writing and posting photographs on her blog.

I have read Heather's blog for the past three years and feel like I personally know Heather, Jon, Leta, Marlo, as well as Chuck and Coco. Heather allows her readers into her life and shares not only her amazing photography but her keen wit and heartfelt writing captures many readers.

Heather's book, It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita, reads much like her blog. An easy flow of ideas mixed with emotions and humor that draws the reader in and made me want to keep turning the pages. This probably wasn't the smartest book to read when I was 8 months pregnant with twins and about to embark on the newborn period again -- but I found myself nodding my head in agreement and reading lines out loud to Mike. He didn't appreciate Heather's humor...

The questions...

The author talks about how she imagined her future children before becoming pregnant:

"When you're childless and young and hopeful, you have this idea of what your children are going to be like, and you make mental notes when you see other kids in public. You say to yourself, "My kid will be cute like that," or "My kid won't ever throw a tantrum in public like that little demon." I had always envisioned a sweet little princess who looked just like me sitting quietly in a high chair, her pressed velvet petticoat creased perfectly as she sat and waited to be handed things in a timely manner. And then you grow up and have kids and realize that YOU HAVE NO SAY..."

Before starting to try to conceive, how did you imagine your future children? If you now have children, how did your expectations fit reality?

Having children has been totally different from the fairytale world I envisioned before becoming pregnant. After Bo's birth it quickly became obvious that life as I knew it had totally changed and I had to change my life to accommodate his needs -- 24/7. I wasn't prepared for how much life would change. I wasn't prepared for how much responsibility would be on my shoulders. I wasn't prepared for how much I would love him.

Before Bo was born, I imagined that life would go on as normal. I'd go back to work. Bo would go to my mom's during the day. I thought I could easily still keep up with everything else I was doing and trying to do in my life. And I was wrong. It took me awhile but I realized that I was going to have to make many major life decisions and change many of my priorities if my main goal was to be the best Mom possible.

And so I changed. I changed from full-time to part-time at my job -- eventually quitting altogether to teach from home. This was something I never dreamed I would do...

I also had visions of a perfect little boy. Who cuddles with me in bed watching the latest Disney flick. Instead, I have Bo -- who will only watch Cars -- and even then has to be busy doing something else at the same time. :) I never imagined how much work having a child would be...

Dooce talks about her postpartum depression in the book and what it took for her to fight it, what are your thoughts on that and your experiences, if any, with postpartum depression?

When I go back and read my blog posts from the few months after Bo's birth, I think I did experience some postpartum depression.

There were many days when I felt completely overwhelmed and my resentment towards others in my life during that time period was very high. Why on earth did Mike get to go to work every day? Why am I the one getting up every night? There were lots of thoughts about how hard others thought their life was... but I knew mine was more difficult. There were also lots of worries -- about something happening to Bo that I just couldn't shake.

Eventually, it was better. Each month that passed I felt like I had a better idea of what I was doing as a mom and Bo became more and more fun. I figured out how to balance the rest of my life with motherhood and that helped too. I learned how important finding time for a shower was and I no longer take those 15 minutes for granted!

I will say that even though we have twins this time, I don't feel the same sense of overwhelmed that I did when Bo was born. I at least know what to do with newborns now. I know about breastfeeding, etc. However, with Mike going back to work on Tuesday, I know the resentment is going to be something I struggle with again. The fact that he will be able to leave the house every day -- doesn't have to work in an environment where at least one child is typically crying -- and has the freedom to do things like go to the grocery store or the gas station without any small children are all aspects of his life that make me envious.

To battle this, I know that I need to leave the house some evenings when Mike comes home -- as difficult as it will be to do. I need to go out on my own -- even if it is just to go to the Dollar Store to buy a loaf of bread. I need to make time for myself. I also need to make sure that I sleep whenever I am able. That said, I'm worried about the balance of my work and the kids. I feel the burden of wanting to be able to "do it all" -- clean house, dinner on the table, take care of three kids, and work. And I know that I can do all of that too -- the trick is doing as much as I can without killing myself in the process.

Heather Armstrong writes candidly and unapologetically about all aspects of her life - the good, the bad and the ugly. What, if anything, in your life that would you like to be as unapologetic about? What's the first step you could take? What's holding you back?

I am not as candid about many aspects of my life as Heather is -- but I still try my best to showcase my true self in as many ways as possible. I don't cover things up about myself to try to appear a certain way -- but at the same time -- as my friend Mandy commented on one of my posts this summer -- this is my reality. This is how I see the world. And no, it isn't how others always see it -- or how they want to see my life -- but it's my view of my life and I think there is something to be said for that too.

I do try to think about how what I write will impact others, but at the same time, this blog is about what I think. Not about what others think or what they think of me. The only thing that holds back my writing is myself.

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens (http://stirrup-queens.com). You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster.